3 Perfect Examples of How to Write an Apology Letter

You screwed up. Now it’s time to own it. Knowing how to apologize is a crucial life and career skill. But when you write an apology letter, creating a permanent record of an event and your response to it, it’s all the more important that you get it right.

Why is writing an apology letter so hard?

Apologizing is an art form few of us seem to master. We don’t want to admit our mistakes because we think that making mistakes reflects badly on our character. But the truth is, not apologizing, or making a feeble non-apology, is often worse.

There are a few reasons you may struggle with apologies:

• You assume that making mistakes means you’re a bad person. When you feel ashamed, you have a hard time recognizing that one goof doesn’t reflect on your character as a whole.
• You get defensive. No one wants to feel ashamed. But a defense is not an apology.
• You worry that you’ll have to own all the responsibility, or that you’ll open the floodgate for more accusations. It could happen, sure. But not apologizing builds resentment over time, and that’s toxic to personal and workplace environments.

The good news is that when you put your apology in writing, you have the luxury of polishing and editing your thoughts so that they say precisely what you mean to convey.

The Elements of a Good Apology Letter

Sorry does seem to be the hardest word, but if you can master these steps in the apology process, you’re sure to make a good impression. These guidelines apply whether you’re apologizing for a personal error, or you’re writing an apology on behalf of a team or business.

• Say you’re sorry. Not, “I’m sorry, but . . .” Just plain ol’ “I’m sorry.”
• Own the mistake. It’s important to show the wronged person that you’re willing to take responsibility for your actions.
• Describe what happened. The wronged person needs to know that you understand what happened and why it was hurtful to them. Make sure you remain focused on your role rather than deflecting the blame.
• Have a plan. Let the wronged person know how you intend to fix the situation.
• Admit you were wrong. It takes a big person to own up to being wrong. But you’ve already reminded yourself that you’re a big person. You’ve got this.
• Ask for forgiveness. A little vulnerability goes a long way toward proving that you mean what you say.

—If You Want to Know How to Apologize, First Do This…

It’s as easy (and as hard) as that. No minimizing, no shifting blame, no defenses. Now, let’s take a look at some apology letter examples that follow this format.

Apology Letter Examples

Before you begin writing, there are a few pointers to keep in mind. First, keep your letter brief and to the point. Don’t ramble on about what happened—distill it to the essentials. Don’t exaggerate, either. There’s no need to fall on your sword. But do keep your language respectful, sincere, and professional.

The Third-Party Apology

If you supervise an employee who made a mistake and find yourself apologizing to a customer or client, it’s important that you take responsibility without dumping all the blame on the employee. After all, what your employees do reflects your leadership.

Dear Ms. Jones,

On behalf of ABC Office Equipment, I extend our sincerest apologies for the bad experience you had with our sales associate, James. I understand that James made unprofessional remarks when you visited our storefront to inquire about a new copier. You came to us in search of information, and instead were subjected to a pushy salesperson.

At ABC, it’s our goal to help you make an informed purchase decision without having to deal with aggressive sales tactics. James is a new employee that I’ve been training. I take full responsibility for his behavior. He has received a written reprimand and will be shadowing one of our senior sales associates until he has a better understanding of the ABC Office Equipment approach to customer service.

I’m grateful that you brought this issue to my attention and I ask your forgiveness. We’d love to earn your business. I’ve included a voucher for 20 percent off your next purchase in our store as a thank-you, should you decide to give us a second chance. We hope to see you again soon!

Kind regards,

Jennifer Smith Equipment Sales Manager

The Personal Apology Letter

Sometimes, you have to own up to something you did that hurt or inconvenienced another person. We’ve all been there. Keep it simple. Don’t make excuses. Show that you’re trying to improve.

Dear Dylan,

I apologize for not arriving on time to pick you up from the airport yesterday afternoon. I have no excuse for keeping you waiting and wondering when your ride would show up.

It’s important to me not to let people down when they’re depending on me. Next time, I’ll make better use of calendar alerts so I’ll be sure to leave in plenty of time to arrive as scheduled, or even ahead of schedule.

I humbly ask your forgiveness. I hope my mistake won’t prevent you from seeking my help in the future. I’m always happy to be of service.

All the best,

Jillian

The Mass Apology

It’s horrifying to think about, but sometimes you end up upsetting a group of people rather than just one person. As with all apology letters, It’s important not to say, “I’m sorry if anyone felt offended.” (That’s like saying, “It’s too bad some of you don’t know how to handle my personality.”) Instead, say, “I’m sorry that I offended anyone.”

Hello Everyone,

I owe you all an apology. When I planned my costume for our annual company Halloween bash, I clearly wasn’t thinking. I now realize that what I wore was offensive to some of you, as well as to your families.

It was never my intention to cause anyone distress. Looking back, however, I can clearly see that I didn’t think things through before I decided on what to wear. Next time, I’ll be sure to weigh my warped sense of humor against my sense of propriety and choose something that isn’t controversial.

I hope you’ll forgive me for making you uncomfortable. Please accept the cupcakes in the breakroom as a sincere peace offering.

All the best,

Jamie

Red Flags to Avoid During Your Job Search in 2017

In today’s competitive job market, how you communicate with potential employers can make your skills stand out. Making sure you effectively express yourself, accurately represent your abilities, and stay present throughout the process is what makes the difference in ultimately receiving a job offer.

Your first interaction with your desired company is likely to happen through writing. But you’ll need more than just a sparkling resume and cover letter. With that in mind, I’ll show you what to avoid, how to get the most from your resume and cover letter, and how to approach email correspondence with your future employers.

3 no-nos to avoid on your resume

1. Overlooking grammar. You probably won’t be surprised to hear that at Grammarly, we tend to keep a close eye on spelling, grammar, and punctuation in resumes. But above all else, practical communication is what we assess when we’re looking at someone’s experiences on paper. Can we understand what you’re talking about? Do you highlight the most important information? Certain roles, like our recently filled community manager position, require an even closer examination of writing skills because of the necessity of writing in that role’s day-to-day function. Writing is an essential skill we look for in potential candidates because at the very least, everyone writes emails as a representative of their company.

2. Misrepresenting employment history. Pay close attention to your employment section. It’s noticeable when someone’s resume dates are incorrect or out of order. You should tailor your resume to the type of position you’re seeking, but it’s critical that you accurately represent your employment history and career development.

3. Use no more than two pages. When people say keep your resume on one page, I don’t think that applies as much to our present-day workforce. We’re not receiving paper resumes anymore, so two-page breakdowns are fine. If it takes more than one page to show the value of your work history, so be it. Don’t shy away from detailing what makes you an ideal fit.

3 cover letter faux pas you should be aware of

1. Addressing it to the wrong recipient. It always irks me when I read a cover letter that is addressed to another company. That’s an immediate red flag and could lead to a candidate being rejected. I can tell the letter was copied and pasted. We read all incoming cover letters here at Grammarly, so I would highly recommend you double-check your intended audience because most companies that require a letter will read them.

2. Generalizing your experience. You can tell when someone hasn’t spent much time crafting their cover letter. We require them when writing is essential to a particular role. We also value them because we want to know how someone’s work background relates to our opening. A lot of people write about how they’re so great for the position because they did X, Y and Z at their previous company, but the things they describe are not relevant to our job posting. If you’re writing a letter, tell me how your past experience is going to translate into what we need.

3. Rewriting your resume in letter form. People often overlook that we do have your resume in your application, so there’s tons of additional information there that doesn’t need to be re-explained. Detail the reasons you would be good for the role and highlight the experience that makes you qualified. If it’s a role that is different than your work experience, the letter offers a chance to show us why you’re interested.

3 ways you can hurt your chances via email

1. Not being aware of timing. If I’ve informed a candidate that they’re advancing to another stage of the interview process—a phone call, an on-site interview, or a reference check—and they’re not getting back to me within 24 hours, I tend to think there’s a lack of interest on the candidate’s part. Be present and engaged for any and all conversations throughout the interview process.

2. Responding with typos. Email mistakes might be considered a red flag for some, but I don’t consider it to be an immediate deal-breaker. Let’s be completely honest … email typos happen. They’re not ideal, but they do happen. People’s brains move so fast that a minor mistake is understandable. I’m not going to suddenly remove someone from consideration because of one error, especially if they’ve already made it to an advanced stage in the interview process. But if it happens over and over, I reconsider moving the candidate forward due to their lack of attention to detail.

3. Missing a simple opportunity to say, “Thank you.” Expressing gratitude still goes a long way. When I receive a thank you email from a candidate, I feel more inclined to push them along in the process a little bit faster. A recent hire at Grammarly went above and beyond on this front. She met with our recruiting team and came back later that day to meet with our executive team. In between the interviews, she gave us handwritten thank you notes. It was so thoughtful, and it spoke to her sincere interest in the role and the company.

Mastering effective communication is an important goal in any job search. Strong writing, for that matter, is one of the key ways you can increase your chances of landing a new position. Grammarly’s blog is here to help you take your writing to the next level.

Monday Motivation Hack: Set Your Work Boundaries

We’re not going to advise you to just “deal with it” when a coworker talks too much, listens to music too loudly, wears too much perfume, doesn’t meet deadlines, or does just about any other irritating thing people do at work.

This is about understanding your personal tolerance level at work and clearly communicating it to those around you without burning bridges.

Why Is Boundary-Setting So Hard?

Drawing a line in the sand and asserting needs is inevitably uncomfortable because it generates conflict. Humans have adapted to avoid conflict because confrontation can be a dangerous experience. We’re biologically wired to avoid the negative feelings of conflict, so we let things slide.

However, if you never deal with conflict, you’re likely to get trapped in it. And you deserve to have your needs respected. So, how do you go about asserting yourself and setting boundaries?

The Number One Rule to Setting Boundaries at Work

It can be extremely tempting when a coworker is stepping on your toes to view him as the “bad guy” and choose to see his behavior as intentional and aggressive rather than innocent, especially if it’s been happening a lot or for a long time. This biased outlook, however, sets you up for some tense interactions. Rather than focus on the negative, remember this important rule:

Always assume the person in question is reasonable and good.

Is Margaret’s music always a little too loud? She isn’t putting her needs above others; she probably doesn’t realize her headphones don’t block sound well.

Is Carter helping himself to your carrot sticks a little too freely? He isn’t being arrogant and selfish; he likely thinks that the carrot sticks are like the other snacks in the office—communal.

Is Lloyd not pulling his weight on his part of team projects? He’s not lazy; he might be confused about the task or what his responsibilities are.

Avoiding accusations and negativity is critical to preserving the functionality of the relationship. Find a perspective that gives the person in question the benefit of the doubt and approach your conversation with them from that positive point of empathy.

Once you’ve got a good grip on this very important rule, you can actually begin the confrontation.

What to Do If Someone Is Too “There”

Whether they talk too loudly, their desk items tend to sprawl into your space, or they hover in other people’s conversations, the most important thing you can do to remedy the situation is ask them to change their behavior in the moment that it’s happening.

Speak up.

Most people who are loud are just happy or excited and don’t necessarily realize that they are louder than others. People whose messes spill over tend to be people who aren’t as affected by clutter and might not realize that it bothers anyone, and people who participate in everyone’s conversations really just want to be included. These people just need a little friendly support to remind them when to quiet down, respect your space, and honor privacy.

Here’s a tip: When asking someone to modify their behavior, remember to clearly state the change you want to see. Sometimes it may be necessary to give some context as to why it is relevant to you.

“Could you please be quieter?”

“Could you please move this out of our shared space?”

“This is a private conversation. If you like, we can catch up later.”

“It’s hard for me to concentrate with so much going on, would you mind turning down your music?”

You may feel awkward speaking up, but the truth is when you’re direct and don’t make it a big deal, it’ll be fine. If you’re struggling to find the right words, Entreprenuer.com has some helpful hints.

But, what if I’ve already asked?

Keep it classy.

In the case that you have asked this person to respect your boundaries and they continue to cross the line, ask them out for coffee and clarify where you stand. Yes, there is more friction, and it can be scary to confront someone one-on-one, but if you’re gracious and—maybe even a little funny—it will be a lot easier.

Here’s a tip: Grace and humor go a long way and are especially effective if you need to actually discuss the issue you are having.

And if that still doesn’t help? Begin talking to your manager.

What to Do When Someone’s Toe-Stepping Is Serious

Unfortunately, despite our number one rule, not all behaviors are reasonable. Some are rooted in dysfunction, and it can be complicated to sort out how to improve the situation. Whether you’ve got a colleague who never lets anyone else speak, a teammate who seems lazy, or someone exhibiting narcissistic tendencies, it’s still critical that you try to give the benefit of the doubt. However, these kinds of concerns can be uniquely difficult to handle and are likely already having a significant effect on the performance of the team. It’s important to follow a few guidelines:

1. Unless the issue is serious, first try resolving the concern on your own using the tips mentioned earlier.
2. If the situation doesn’t improve, collect your thoughts, noting some concrete examples that demonstrate why you are concerned.
3. Set up a meeting with a supervisor or HR representative for help navigating the confrontation.
4. Do try to remain calm and cooperative throughout the process. Negative outbursts are counterproductive and can have serious consequences.

What kinds of experiences have you had with boundary setting and conflict resolution at work? Were there any especially effective tricks that worked for you?

How Gaming Makes You a Better (Yes, Better) Communicator

The stereotype of gamers as abysmal communicators is familiar.

It’s easy to picture an anti-social type sitting alone in his unkempt room with the blinds drawn, swilling energy drinks and grinding levels past dawn. Or worse yet, the kind who racks up kills online while wearing a headset and emitting a nonstop stream of cringeworthy recriminations. There is also that timeworn trope of the dungeon crawlers—those chortling weird-beards in the back room of the comic shop, forever rolling dice of peculiar geometries and blurting shrill inanities about critical fumbles: “This is preposterous!”

Indeed, it is—for gaming has long-since emerged from the basement. More than half of American households are now home to at least one gamer who plays for a few hours a week. As an industry, vidya games have long since eclipsed Hollywood, and with mobile gaming now on track to surpass consoles and PCs, the global gaming market sits on the cusp of $100 billion. And, stereotypes aside, adult female gamers outnumber all those loathsome teenage boys.

Gamers, in fact, are everywhere. They’re running the morning meeting at your office, putting out literal fires in your neighborhood, and researching vital new kinds of medicine. And one thing all these roles have in common—whether it’s analyzing feedback from beta testers or crunching some quick numbers ahead of the guild’s next raid—is communication. In fact, whether you game via a big screen or a pocket-size one—or at a table with no screen at all—gaming might just make you a better communicator, collaborator, and all-around team player.

Project manager by day, dungeon master by night

Many games unite players in pursuit of a shared objective. Maybe it’s the simple, time-honored goal of a first-person shooter like Halo or Call of Duty, e.g., “shoot the opposing team more than they shoot us.” (A noble goal with million-dollar stakes, at times.)

Or maybe the mission is more complex; a group of friends gets together on Friday nights for wine, cheese, and a Dungeons & Dragons adventure involving twenty-sided dice and character sheets for goofy rogues with names like Storm Drayne.

All the same, these endeavors aren’t so different from when the sales team at the office pushes to hit its third-quarter target or when the developers furiously mash out the newest release ahead of next week’s deadline; they all require coordination. The Friday night dungeon master, who may have labored for hours mapping out a campaign that plays to her friends’ strengths and tests their cohesion, might find these same skills come in handy on Monday morning while mapping out the week’s goals for her trusty band of programmers.

Where guilds tend to use voice chat clients during raids and office folks might instead rely on Slack, in either case, unless each member takes on a role that serves the broader purpose of the team and works cooperatively, their effort is bound to struggle.

For a comical illustration of this lesson in freefall, consider the woeful cautionary tale of World of Warcraft’s Leeroy Jenkins, who precipitated an utter massacre by charging in alone while the rest of his crew was still discussing their plan of attack.

This can be equally evident for a five-player team in a game like Defense of the Ancients, where a random server connection might fill your headset with tactical calculations uttered between two teammates in Portuguese, while another’s suggested maneuvers appear on your screen in Cyrillic. Such communication challenges can, to put it mildly, make it difficult to properly time a coordinated strike, or to know who on your team will need backup and when. It can also be just plain stressful—even before whatever semblance you had of a plan starts to crumble, alongside morale.

High spirits lead to high scores

To UK Halo player Abdul Musawwir, keeping morale up is the most essential part of team interaction:

If something bad happens in a game, a team that responds to that calmly and confidently is way more likely to regain control compared to a team that just gets angry or starts blaming each other. Poor morale is going to lead to more mistakes, like mindlessly charging the guy who last killed you. . . . Remain focused, remain positive. Just shake that incident off and move on.

Thus, gaming teaches us the value of communicating clearly and concisely, even in situations that feel dire. Maybe the concern when you’re part of team in Halo is that one of your opponents has managed to take a strategically advantageous perch with a long-range weapon like a sniper rifle. Or maybe you’re on deadline at the office, battling a buggy script while trying to stage a critical post.

Either way, no one likes feeling shouted-at or having to manage other people’s panic. In situations like this, it’s essential to know who you can work with and to state plainly what you know, why it’s important, and how it can be resolved. This tends to be vastly more productive than trying to handle such problems alone or freaking out your teammates or colleagues. In this respect, a question like “Will you take a look at this interactive I’m trying to embed?” has more in common with “Do any of us have a rocket launcher?” than with “Oh God, I have no idea what to do.”

Plus, having rehearsed being assertive and adapting on the fly in pitched combat where warnings are constantly flashing and the terrain around you sometimes explodes, pivoting to an urgent assignment at the office might just feel like a piece of cake.

When communication itself is the game

In some games, communication isn’t just a crucial tool if you want your team to do well; rather, what you tell people is itself part of the game. Players in a roleplaying campaign, for instance, use conversation (and sometimes persuasion) to essentially construct a story around their characters’ shared quest.

Lisa Pickoff-White, a journalist in San Francisco renowned for her tenacity and data-wrangling skills, says figuring out how to effectively steer such a game, even when not everyone’s character shares the same values, tends to yield translatable skills:

I think table topping has allowed me to think through different scenarios quickly and learn to take into account the goals of people in my group and whether they’ll align with the plan. Like is that paladin really going to go for stealing some jewels? How do you motivate them?

While certain games (say, Texas Hold’em) tend to hinge on giving up as little information as possible, other games can at times offer strategic advantages in over-communicating—or appearing to, anyway. One example is Magic: the Gathering, where a typical turn might find one player attacking with a team of creatures—knights, elves, demons, or the occasional mongoose for instance—while the defending player decides how to try to block them with creatures of her own, or perhaps kill them with removal spells.

Here, a crafty player can lead an opponent into traps, perhaps through careful readings of the wordings of the cards—or perhaps by simply seeming to say too much. Gaudenis Vidugiris, who is known among competitive Magic players for his Pro Tour appearances, demonstrated exactly this tactic during the weekend-long slog toward his third Grand Prix victory. Nine rounds into the first day, his exhausted opponent was puzzling over which creatures he needed to block.

Vidugiris, a New Yorker who sometimes plays for the Lithuanian national team, impatiently slid his opponent’s cards into a position suggesting an even exchange that would maintain parity, as if to say “Isn’t your move obvious? I’m a professional and I’m tired of waiting.” His opponent (your humble blogger) obliged. That’s when Vidugiris revealed the Lightning Bolt he’d been masterfully slow-rolling like a titan of poker. Vidugiris—a lawyer by trade—had not, in fact, said too much, but instead communicated exactly the right amount of information to rout his opponent’s defense.

Vocab grab bag (of items)

It’s worth noting that one other way Magic, like many games, can enhance players’ communication is simply by building their vocabulary. There are more than 16,000 unique Magic cards with different names; Magic’s multiverse has many large zombies, but only one Corpulent Corpse, for instance. As a result, a longtime player might recognize the difference between the type of veil you wear and the type of vale you walk through, because the game classifies one as an artifact and the other is a land.

Similar examples can be found in iconic video games from Chrono Trigger (where, should you recruit the dark wizard Magus, you’ll quickly learn the word “scythe”) to Metal Gear Solid 3 (in which, if you find yourself wounded in combat, you’ll come to appreciate the word “styptic”).

Whatever your game of choice might be—and whatever context you find yourself communicating in, professional or otherwise—Grammarly is pleased in help you lead your team to victory and fulfill your quest.

Need a Pick-Me-Up? 5 Best Short Stories of All Time

Short stories often go underappreciated, but they represent an art form few authors truly master. For readers, the short story is the perfect literary snack, a choice morsel that fills a spare hour, refreshes the brain, and gives a moment of escape from daily routines. When you need something to nibble and lack the time for a novel, feast your eyes on these tiny tomes with outsized impact.

For Esme—with Love and Squalor

No list of short stories would be complete without the work of J.D. Salinger, and “For Esme” is one of his finest. First published in 1950 in The New Yorker and anthologized two years later, the story takes place in England during World War II and involves a soldier who meets an adolescent girl during a church visit in Devon. A year later, the soldier suffers a nervous breakdown in the weeks following V-E Day, but a letter from Esme, the young lady, inspires his recovery. This beautifully written story sings with a message of redemption.

Harrison Bergeron

When life hands you lemons, why not wallow in a deeply satirical critique of authoritarian dystopia? This story, published in Kurt Vonnegut’s Welcome to the Monkey House collection, is set in the year 2081 and features a society in which everyone is “handicapped” by the government to ensure equality among all. The beautiful must wear masks; the intelligent, a headset that blasts shrill sounds to interrupt their thinking. Harrison, the protagonist, rebels against the Handicapper General and attempts to overthrow the tyrannical government. The dark humor and tight journalistic style make this an easy, if somewhat disturbing, read.

The Three Questions

Tolstoy is the recognized master of epic novels, but few appreciate his skill with the short story. This story was first published in 1885 and is written in parable form. A king seeks answers to the three questions he considers most important in life and after receiving inadequate responses from the educated men in his kingdom, he looks to a wise hermit in a neighboring village. In an ironic twist, the king learns the answers to his questions as he helps the hermit care for a severely wounded man who shows up at the hermit’s hut. This story is classic for its timeless answers and masterful way they are revealed.

A Man from the South

This Roald Dahl masterpiece was published in 1948 in the magazine Collier’s and was adapted for film in a 1960 episode of “Alfred Hitchcock Presents” starring Steve McQueen. In the story, Carlos, an old man, offers a young American his gorgeous green Cadillac if he can light his lighter 10 times in a row. The catch, however, is that if he cannot, the old man will chop off the Gambler’s finger. The story involves a mysterious woman, a zinger of a plot twist, and an unexpected ending, just the thing to perk up a tired brain.

A Good Man Is Hard to Find

In this 1953 story, Flannery O’Connor tells the tale of a manipulative grandmother and her son, his wife, and his children, who encounter a dangerous escaped criminal after their car overturns on a journey from Georgia to Florida. It is a stunning and disturbing story that deals with universal themes of cowardice, selfishness, redemption, and grace—and coming to terms with a person’s true self. The controversial final scene is the subject of endless scholarly debate and will be indelibly stamped in your brain once you’ve read it.

Next time you need a quick refresher for a tired brain, pick up an anthology of short stories and curl up on the couch for an empowering hour of literary diversion. What’s your favorite short story and why?

Hoping vs. Hopping

Even though the difference in spelling between hoping and hopping is just one letter, the difference in meaning is actually much bigger. All you need to do is hope and hop to see how big a difference it is.

What Is the Difference Between Hoping and Hopping?

When you look up the definition of hoping and the definition of hopping, you notice that they have one thing in common—both are present participles. Hoping is the present participle of the verb hope, and hopping is the present participle of the verb hop.

To hope for something means that we want it to happen. We use hoping to form one of the progressive tenses, like the present progressive and the past progressive:

I am still hoping I’ll go to Paris by the end of the year.

He was hoping you’d have time to talk before you left.

To hop, on the other hand, is to make a small jump, and we use the form hopping like this:

The bunny was hopping happily in the backyard.

You will be hopping on one foot until your other foot heals.

The past tense forms of hope and hop can also be easily mixed up. The past tense of hope is hoped and the past tense of hop is hopped.

Peter hoped he’d never have to sit another test again.

Peter hopped across the cold floor to get his other sock.

How to Remember the Difference

The best way to remember the difference between hoping and hopping is to remember the “c-v-c rule.” If the last three letters of a verb are a consonant, a vowel, and another consonant, double the last consonant. If you know this, it’s obvious that hopping is the inflected form of hop, because hope doesn’t fit the c-v-c rule.

Hoping vs. Hopping: Examples

Andy Murray is hoping all his big rivals will offer him competition for the number one ranking in 2017.

Belfast Telegraph

SpaceX is hoping to reach speeds of up to 1 Gbps, about 200 times faster than the average user’s connection.

The Huffington Post UK

That’s right, I’m hopping on the Jake-Browning-for-the-Heisman bandwagon.

HeraldNet

That’s exactly what this teenager found when he hopped into the car for the drive back from work.

Yahoo! News UK