10 Hilarious Out of Office Messages You Will Want to Copy

Leaving for vacation? Heading to a work conference? Beset with the flu? You’re taking a break from email correspondence, which means it’s time to set up the dreaded “out of office” message. Not only is it a bore to write, most people will be less than delighted to read it when they were expecting a real response from you.

But what if you could turn this necessary evil into a way of engaging with people that’s informative, memorable, and even fun? Maybe they wouldn’t be as disappointed to get your away message instead of getting you.

For those who are ready to stand out from the crowd, we’ve gathered ten hilarious out of office messages that will inspire you to raise the bar the next time you sit down to write an autoresponder.

1Keeping It Real

I am currently out of the office on vacation.

I know I’m supposed to say that I’ll have limited access to email and won’t be able to respond until I return, but that’s not true. My iPhone will be with me and I can respond if I need to. And I recognize that I’ll probably need to interrupt my vacation from time to time to deal with something urgent.

That said, I promised my wife that I am going to try to disconnect, get away and enjoy our vacation as much as possible. So, I’m going to experiment with something new. I’m going to leave the decision in your hands:

• If your email truly is urgent and you need a response while I’m on vacation, please resend it to interruptyourvacation@firstround.com and I’ll try to respond to it promptly.

• If you think someone else at First Round Capital might be able to help you, feel free to email my assistant, Fiona, and she’ll try to point you in the right direction.

Otherwise, I’ll respond when I return…

Warm regards,

Josh

Sometimes honesty is the best course of action. Venture capitalist Josh Kopelman shares the facts, then presents the option to choose your own adventure. Do you really want to interrupt his vacation?

2A Day in the Life of an Autoresponder

Digital marketing guru Ann Handley has become legendary for her humorous out of office responses. Getting an auto-reply is by definition impersonal, but Ann turns a cold response into a friendly conversation through some clever personification, while also promoting the event she’s attending. Genius!

Guess who is available on email and who is *not* available on email this week!

Who is on email: Me, the email auto-responder.

Who is mostly not on email: Ann.

Fun fact: Ann and I never, EVER are on duty at the same time. (Mind blown, right?)

Being an auto-responder is not a bad gig. Upside: I spend the vast majority of my time sitting around, waiting for Ann to take a vacation or for the B2B Forum to roll around.

The latter is precisely what’s going on now! The B2B Forum might be an awesome event for B2B marketers. But for me, it’s like my Chrismakwanzakah — HOORAY! I have something to do today aside from make microwave nachos and binge-watch Netflix!

(What’s the B2B Forum? See here: mpb2b.marketingprofs.com. You can probably still buy a ticket. I cannot. I got work to do!)

You can also peek at what she’s up to in Boston here: http://instagram.com/AnnHandley.

Thanks for swinging by! More importantly, thanks for giving my life purpose and meaning!

Your friend,

Email auto-responder (Repping Ann)

3It Rhymes!

Toronto tomorrow for #SMSociety! Out of office email all sorted… pic.twitter.com/SRp2n7x439

— Dr Wil Chivers (@wilchivs) July 26, 2017

Rejection doesn’t have to hurt. Why not soften the blow with an adorable poem that informs and delights?

Thanks for the email, but I’m afraid to say I cannot reply as I am away. A conference in Canada is where you’ll find me, Follow it on Twitter – #SMSociety.

4“Hi, I’m Troy McClure!”

We’re not sure who wrote the original Troy McClure out of office message, but this version by Paul Sokol of Infusionsoft is a real gem.

Hi, I’m Troy McClure! You may remember me from such classic Out of Office Messages as “I’m at Outside Lands Watching Metallica” or “Visiting My Family in Florida.” I’m here today to talk to you about Paul Sokol, and the email you just sent him.

(Enter Billy, 8 years old, doe-eyed)

Billy: Mr. McClure? Why is Paul not answering any emails right now?

Troy: The answer is simple Billy: Paul is in San Diego this weekend providing support for an event and nowhere near his work email.

Billy: When is he going to be coming back?

Troy: He will be back on Monday morning.

Billy: Is he going to reply to the email they just sent?

Troy: If it warrants a response, Billy. If it warrants a response…

(Exit Billy)

That’s all for now. Watch for me in the upcoming Out of Office Message “At a Wedding,” coming this winter!

5There’s a Graph for That

Don’t have time to craft the perfect response? A relatable comic or infographic is all you need.

Best out of office email I’ve received in a while… pic.twitter.com/cKau0N59Kd

— Francesca Gino (@francescagino) July 12, 2017

6Fun With Pop Culture

Take a cue from PR guru Gini Dietrich—make your message memorable by framing it with a pop culture reference.

via GIPHY

Is this heaven? No, it’s Iowa.

That’s where I’ll be for the next couple of days, giving my last out of town keynote of the year (yay!). I don’t know if there really is a Field of Dreams, but I’ll be in search of it in between checking emails and getting back to you as quickly as I can.

If you need something while I’m stuck in a corn field, you can send a note to my assistant and she will be happy to help you.

7A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words

What is the best “out of the office” email response you’ve gotten? My in below. pic.twitter.com/7N9rVRmDVR

— Ben Stapley (@benstapley) July 31, 2017

An emoji autoresponder? It’s cute, it’s effective, and they might actually read it!

8The Revolution

Best out-of-office auto email reply ever. pic.twitter.com/OY66YEV28n

— Jim Julius (@jjulius) July 31, 2014

If they’re not happy with your response they can blame the robots—if they dare.

9Choose Wisely

Reducing email volume is key. Take this opportunity to express your draconian streak.

I am on annual leave until dd/mm/yyyy. I will allow each sender one email and if you send me multiple emails, I will randomly delete your emails until there is only one remaining. Choose wisely. Please note that you have already sent me one email.

10Too Much Nyquil

Taking a sick day? There’s humor in there somewhere. When your out of office message gets out of hand, you can always blame it on the Nyquil.

It is with sincere regret that I inform you that I feel like a porcupine has climbed down my throat and up into my head. I came to work this morning because I did not want to miss our busy Monday morning and with hopes this would pass. Alas I continue to sound and feel like the [expletive] I nearly stepped in this morning. I shall now retire to my place where bed and T.V. are so that I can nurse a bottle of Nyquil until I succumb to the purple haze of that cherry-flavored syrup. Please excuse my absence and rest assured that I will not be spreading my misery to others in the office.

Regards,

[Name]

P.S. Please forgive the absurdity of this email as I feel the sickness and medication have clouded my professional judgment.

It’s vs. Its: How Should You Use Them?

When you’re in a hurry, you might write “it’s” when you really mean “its,” or the other way around. You need to be aware of this mistake and know when to use which.

It’s is a contraction of “it is” or “it has.” Its is a possessive determiner we use to say that something belongs to or refers to something.

It’s and its are among the most commonly confused words. They are pronounced the same, there’s a very small difference in how they’re written, and it’s also easy to mistake the contraction in it’s for a possessive. But the rules are very clear—it’s is the same type of contraction as “where’s” or “there’s,” and its is a possessive just like “my” or “your.”

Examples

He doesn’t think its a good idea to spend all his money on video games.

He doesn’t think it’s a good idea to spend all his money on video games.

Its been a year since the last time they met.

It’s been a year since the last time they met.

The computer looked as though it’s power supply had failed.

The computer looked as though its power supply had failed.

A car is no good without it’s wheels.

A car is no good without its wheels.

5 Ways to Stop Having a Bad Day

Your alarm fails to go off and you wake up twenty minutes late. You take a hasty shower, and for some reason the water temperature will only fluctuate between tepid and truly frigid. Despite those setbacks, you manage to grab a cup of coffee for the ride in, which you promptly spill down the front of your shirt. Then, when you arrive at the office you learn that your partner on a critical project has called in sick. Your deadline? Today. At noon.

You’re having an epically bad day. You could choose to wallow in it and be grumpy and miserable, but you (not to mention everyone around you) will be much happier if you can find a way to snap out of it. Science has answers!

What to Do (According to Science) When You’re Having a Bad Day

1 Just breathe.

Negative emotions and stress have physical effects. Our muscles tense. Our heart rate increases. Our breathing gets heavier or too shallow. You might not even notice these stress symptoms in the moment, but if you’ve ever gone home after a difficult day feeling achy and worn out, stress is likely the culprit.

Stop. Take a breath. In fact, take some measured breaths using the 4-7-8 technique, a practice often used in yoga and meditation. (The 4-7-8 technique is essentially a rebranding of pranayamic breathing.)

Find a quiet, comfortable place where you can be alone for a few minutes. Pay attention to your natural breathing for a while and allow yourself to get quiet. Let any distractions in your surroundings fall away. Then, breathe in for a steady count of four, hold the breath for a count of seven, and exhale slowly to a count of eight. Repeat this several times until you’re feeling relaxed.

2 Acknowledge the bad day, and then have a laugh.

When reality doesn’t match our expectations, we pour a lot of our energy into worrying that things should be different. But think about it—have you ever changed an outcome by simply wishing things were better?

via GIPHY

Acceptance is the key to happiness. When things go wrong, instead of resisting them, lean into them. Grab lunch with a colleague or friend and regale them with your tale of woe, all while having a good laugh at yourself. When you accept that annoying things happen to everyone, you can shrug them off and move on.

3 Talk yourself out of it.

Do you mentally kick yourself when you’re having a bad day? Many of us do, and it can sound like this:

Ugh! I’m such an idiot.

This stuff always happens to me! What did I do to deserve this?

Why am I so lazy?

You wouldn’t call a friend who was having a rough day a lazy idiot, so why do it to yourself? Instead, practice positive self-talk. When you’re being overly self-critical, stop and reframe things. Be kind! You might refute the negative track playing in your head with positive statements like this:

I’m facing some challenges today, but I’m smart and resilient.

Bad days happen to everyone. I’ll bounce back.

I’m not feeling very motivated lately. I’ll brainstorm some ideas to get myself on track.

4 Write away the stress.

Keeping a journal is a fantastic way to destress. When things go wrong, we tend to ruminate on them. Mulling over unpleasant events can become a destructive cycle that’s hard to break. Our minds run a sort of instant replay on an endless loop without coming to any sort of resolution.

Journaling can help break the cycle of rumination, particularly if you focus on addressing topics that are causing you distress. Instead of hunting for a solution, ask yourself some questions designed to help you understand the issue. If there is a solution, the writing process may help you uncover it. If there isn’t, let journaling guide you toward acceptance.

5 Use your words. Literally.

Your emotional response to bad situations, like running late and spilling your coffee, triggers a reaction in the fight-or-flight part of your brain that causes stress. According to a UCLA study, putting a label on those emotions shifts your thought processing away from the amygdala to the area right behind your forehead and eyes (the right ventrolateral prefrontal cortex, if you want to get technical). This area of the brain is associated with putting emotional experiences into words.

When you put feelings into words, you’re activating this prefrontal region and seeing a reduced response in the amygdala. In the same way you hit the brake when you’re driving when you see a yellow light, when you put feelings into words, you seem to be hitting the brakes on your emotional responses.

—Matthew D. Lieberman, UCLA associate professor of psychology

So, the next time you spill your coffee down the front of your favorite shirt, just put a label on what you’re feeling.

Wow, I’m really angry about this. I’m ashamed to have people see me at work in a stained shirt.

Remember to use labels that represent real emotions. Words like “stressed” label an emotional response, not the emotion itself. Get to the root of the emotion causing the stress.

There’s no such thing as a bad day

What is a day? It’s a twenty-four-hour cycle of daylight and darkness created by the earth turning on its axis. In reality, the only way to have a bad day would be if, say, the earth stopped spinning. That would be a cataclysmically bad day.

But the earth is still rotating, amigos! So, that bad day you’re having? It doesn’t exist in reality, only in your interpretation of it. And you can shape your own reality, so when you think about it, you have phenomenal cosmic power.

Phenomenal Cosmic Power – Aladdin GIF from Power GIFs

See? You’re pretty much crushing it. Now, go get ‘em!

Not-So-Sweet 16 Game 6: Total Tardiness vs. The Interrupter

It’s better late than . . . wait, wait, wait. See how annoying that was?

Delaying meetings because of careless tardiness is never fun, but interrupting your coworkers is likely to make you pretty unpopular as well. But which is the most frustrating? Vote below, and leave your stories of rudeness in the comments.

Total Tardiness

Having to stall a meeting or punt other tasks because you’re waiting on another person is the pits. Tardiness, especially the chronic kind, degrades meeting quality and comes off as just plain rude to others.

The Interrupter

This person may have great energy, but they can’t seem to let others finish their thoughts. As soon as someone begins to present a new idea, the interrupter is right there to add their perspective.

5 Staggering Love Poems to Inspire

We can thank poets for transferring love from heart to pen to paper. Romantic poetry resurfaces during engagements, weddings, and Valentine’s Day, when we’re prompted to ponder what love is, how we value it, and how we express it. Is our love best expressed by candy, cards, and flowers? These poets seem to think not. Turn to the experts for inspiration from these five staggering love poems that tap into the heart of true romance; there’s a poem for the lonely hearts this Valentine’s Day, too. Read on to sate your craving for sweetness without the candy.

“i carry your heart with me (i carry it in)” by e. e. cummings

With this poem, Cummings captures the all-encompassing feeling of being in love. It’s the kind of love that follows you everywhere and exists deep within. This is what true romantics yearn for.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart) i am never without it(anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)

“It Is Here” by Harold Pinter

This brief but nonetheless staggering love poem by Pinter has the effect of taking the reader’s breath away in the last three lines. We rise in anticipation of what the writer is asking about and delight in the beautifully written moment of a shared breath upon first meeting. Ah, love.

What sound was that? I turn away, into the shaking room. What was that sound that came on in the dark? What is this maze of life it leaves us in? What is this stance we take, to turn away, and then turn back? What did we hear? It was the breath we took when we first met. Listen. It is here.

“Annabel Lee” by Edgar Allan Poe

Poe’s poem is uber-romantic because of when it was written—it was his last poem before he died and is purportedly about his wife Virginia. Their love was stronger than the power of heaven and hell, which is saying a lot.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love Of those who were older than we— Of many far wiser than we— And neither the angels in Heaven above, Nor the demons down under the sea, Can ever dissever my soul from the soul Of the beautiful Annabel Lee

“Touch” by Thom Gunn

Gunn beautifully illustrates the intimacy of touch in the domestic setting of being in bed with someone (with a cat there, too). The word love isn’t mentioned, but warmth and closeness can be felt from the words. The relatability of this is due, in part, to the anonymity of the subject of the poem. Is it a woman, a man? It doesn’t matter.

Meanwhile and slowly I feel a is it my own warmth surfacing or the ferment of your whole body that in darkness beneath the cover is stealing bit by bit to break down that chill.

“Love After Love” by Derek Walcott

If you’re mending a broken heart this Valentine’s Day, take refuge in Walcott’s poem “Love After Love.” It’s about loving oneself again by turning inward and reflecting.

You will love again the stranger who was your self. Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart.”

Concluding our ode to romantic poetry is a quote from Rainer Maria Rilke about what it really means to love:

To love is good, too: love being difficult. For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.

Perhaps this is why these poets dedicated their work to the subject, proving love is worth more than candy, cards, and flowers.

Now that you’re feeling inspired about love, what are your favorite lines of romantic poetry?