Yes, You Can Make a Complex Point Over Text

Making a point in a clear, assertive email is one thing. But doing it in a text? LOL, way 2 much 4 txtspk.

Or is it?

Sure, you don’t have as much leeway in a text as in an email because of sheer lack of space, but it is possible to make a point, ask for something important, or express a serious idea in a text message. Here are some tips for how to make it so.

Use real words

As in, “you,” “for,” “today,” “thanks.” Writing in real-speak instead of text-speak shows that you’re serious. For example:

Thx 4 mtg w me 2day. U r rly helpful. WML 4 interview 2moro!

Not quite as effective as:

Thank you for meeting with me today. You were really helpful. Wish me luck for the interview tomorrow!

Sure, it depends on who you’re writing: if it’s your best friend and you always swap “you” for “u,” no need to make things unexpectedly formal. But before you type out your message, think about what you’re trying to say, who’s going to read it, and whether your point will be more effective with actual words.

Start with “Hey”

When people are about to say something important in conversation, they often start with “listen” or “look.” Those senses don’t exactly make sense over text, but a casual “hey” can have the same effect. Plus, it signals that you’re about to get a bit more serious than normal, and even pads the blow a little.

Hey, I wanted to apologize for taking my bad mood out on you earlier.

Without the hey, it sounds stiff, even insincere. With the hey, you get a casual, human touch that leads neatly into the point.

Don’t write a novel

We get it: it’s hard to make a point in a couple lines. But if the message is longer than the phone screen and you have to scroll to see the whole thing, it’s probably too much for the person to digest. Just like in other forms of writing, you’ll make a stronger point if you avoid filler words and get directly to the issue.

Compare these two texts to a coworker:

Hey Karen, I’m really sorry, but I think I ate something weird last night and I’m feeling really sick. I know we were supposed to prep for our big presentation today, but I’m just feeling too sick to leave the house today. Hopefully I’ll be better tomorrow and we can figure things out then. Sorry again, but thanks for understanding!

Then, you take out the (digital) red pen:

Hey Karen, so sorry, but I’ve got food poisoning. We’ll have to do our meeting prep when I’m back. I’ll follow up by email when possible.

More succinct, and more professional, too.

Sum up your argument

What is this, expository essay class? It may sound like even more added weight, but if you have to say something complicated, one way to keep it clean is to write the main point in one text, and send your “conclusion” as a separate text. For example:

Text 1: Hey, I understand that you have a lot going on right now and can’t make it to the dinner tonight, but I’ve got to say I’m disappointed. I planned it months ago and was really counting on you being there. Even with everything you have on your plate, I thought this would be a priority for you.

Text 2: Anyway, sorry for being upset and I do understand you’ve got a lot happening, but wanted you to know.

Heavy stuff—maybe even better over the phone or in person. Still, there are times when you need to have your say, and text is the only venue for doing it. And in those cases, a final line—sometimes with an extra “thanks” or “sorry”—can make the message more personal and caring.

Offer a follow-up

The tips so far have given you some fuel for your serious, thoughtful, or bad-news texts. But there are some conversations that should be had in person. You can lay the groundwork in your text and then plug for a different venue to keep the discussion going. For example:

• Hey, our presentation is coming along, but I think it needs more work. Let’s set up some time to talk about moving it forward.
• Hey, I’m sorry I hurt your feelings with that stupid joke earlier. Can I call you?
• Hi Mom, guess what? I got the job offer! Too many details to text but I’ll tell you more over dinner tomorrow.

With this kind of message, you can say what you need to say but not overburden your text recipient with information.

Send a gif

Caveat: Maybe you don’t send a white rabbit gif to your boss to explain you’re running late for your very important date—er, meeting.

But if you think the person you’re writing will respond well to a bit of levity, adding a gif or a meme is a great way to lighten the mood of a serious message. Technology has given us the gift of sending moving cats to people by phone, so why not take advantage of it?

Here are some ways to make it go purringly:

• Things are pretty tough right now (cat getting a bath)
• I didn’t mean to lash out at you (cat lashing out at its balloon lookalike)
• What you said hurt my feelings (cat hanging its head with a wounded air)
• I’m really sorry I messed up this time (cat falling off a chair)
• I’m sorry I can’t make it. Just can’t handle a party tonight (cat looking like it can’t handle a party any night. Even with the sombrero.)

As with emails, conversations in person, or other forms of communication, if you’re saying something important in a text message, think through how best to say it. Make sure you plan your words based on the person you’re writing to (e.g., you’ll be more formal in professional settings than personal ones), and before you tap Send, read your message through to make sure it doesn’t sound aggressive, whiny, or mean.

And nine times out of ten, animal gifs are your friend.

7 Quotes on Imposter Syndrome That Will Help You Gain Confidence

“They all know. It’s only a matter of time until I’m called out. I’m a fraud.”

How many times has a similar line of thought traipsed seductively through your consciousness? An estimated 70 percent of us will likely experience at some point the feelings of inadequacy and “fakeness” that accompany imposter syndrome.

While people who experience imposter syndrome—feelings of failure and “pretending”—often experience higher rates of burnout, job dissatisfaction, and stagnancy, they also tend to be successful, as researcher Valerie Young shows. This is likely because many sufferers are perfectionists and over-achievers who are more likely to put in extra time and effort to counteract any perceived justification for their anxieties.

In fact, many of the most successful people in the world have struggled with imposter syndrome. Though it is critical to understand that feeling like a fraud is not a requisite for success, many accomplished people struggle with it from time to time and achieve amazing things in spite of it. There is hope that you can overcome imposter syndrome.

The Poet

I have written 11 books but each time I think ‘Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’

—Maya Angelou

Despite her own self-doubt, Angelou was a fiercely accomplished person. She was nominated for the Pulitzer Prize and a Tony award, won five Grammys for her spoken recordings, and served on two presidential committees. All this while also charming readers with her honesty, vulnerability, and personal fortitude.

The Executive

Every time I was called on in class, I was sure that I was about to embarrass myself. Every time I took a test, I was sure that it had gone badly. And every time I didn’t embarrass myself — or even excelled — I believed that I had fooled everyone yet again. One day soon, the jig would be up … This phenomenon of capable people being plagued by self-doubt has a name — the impostor syndrome. Both men and women are susceptible to the impostor syndrome, but women tend to experience it more intensely and be more limited by it.

—Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In

Sheryl Sandberg is the Chief Operating Officer at Facebook. In addition to being an accomplished tech executive, in her book Lean In she explores the ways women (and men) can make a welcoming and diverse working environment that encourages women to pursue leadership. She has inspired millions of women to advocate for themselves professionally and push through feelings of inadequacy.

The Comedian

The beauty of the impostor syndrome is you vacillate between extreme egomania and a complete feeling of: ‘I’m a fraud! Oh God, they’re on to me! I’m a fraud!’ . . . just try to ride the egomania when it comes and enjoy it, and then slide through the idea of fraud.

—Tina Fey

Tina Fey has a host of successful comic ventures to her credit, including the television series 30 Rock and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, the fan-favorite film and endlessly quotable Mean Girls, and the hilarious and well-received book Bossypants, among much else. For her, beating imposter syndrome to continued achievement means riding the waves of validation when they come and recognizing that the phases of self-doubt are impermanent.

The Athlete

Every time I go to a game I always have that fear of losing or a sense of failure. You always have that fear of losing but you always have that confidence of winning. You never want to come off the field thinking you could have done more or given more.

—Darren Lockyer

This accomplished sport commentator and a former Australian rugby player, Darren Lockyer, is considered by many to be the best rugby player of all time, with numerous medals and awards, as well as a record winning streak in his pocket. Part of his success was derived from learning to tap into the fear of not doing enough to push him to his limits so he could leave the field with pride.

The Student

So I have to admit that today, even 12 years after graduation [from Harvard], I’m still insecure about my own worthiness. I have to remind myself today, You are here for a reason. Today, I feel much like I did when I came to Harvard Yard as a freshman in 1999 … I felt like there had been some mistake — that I wasn’t smart enough to be in this company and that every time I opened my mouth I would have to prove I wasn’t just a dumb actress. … Sometimes your insecurities and your inexperience may lead you to embrace other people’s expectations, standards, or values, but you can harness that inexperience to carve out your own path — one that is free of the burden of knowing how things are supposed to be, a path that is defined by its own particular set of reasons.

—Natalie Portman, Harvard Commencement 2015

It seems that Natalie Portman, a multiple Golden Globe winner, Academy Award winner, and Harvard graduate, should have little reason to doubt herself. However, she has spoken openly about her fight against imposter syndrome and how she negotiated the feelings of fraud—accepting that she is striking her own path and doesn’t need to carry the “burden of how things are supposed to be.”

The Novelist

I am not a writer. I’ve been fooling myself and other people.

—John Steinbeck

John Steinbeck was a prolific American author who wrote the Pulitzer Prize–winning Grapes of Wrath—a classic in the American literary canon. Despite his success with Grapes of Wrath, he fought feelings of inadequacy. His work, in spite of his doubt, serves as a lesson for why you should “fake it until you make it.”

The Musician

It’s helpful to have some arrogance with paranoia . . . If we were all paranoia, we’d never leave the house. If we were all arrogance, no one would want us to leave the house.

—Chris Martin

Chris Martin is the Grammy-winning lead singer of the internationally acclaimed band Coldplay. He has served as frontman throughout the band’s twenty-year career while also being quite outspoken about his self-doubt. Finding balance between his arrogance and his paranoia, or at least appreciating both, allows him to harness the benefits of each when they arise.

Breath vs. Breathe

• Breathe is a verb we use for the process of inhaling and exhaling.
• Breath is a noun that refers to a full cycle of breathing. It can also refer to the air that is inhaled or exhaled.
• Both words can be used in several different ways and are part of many phrases and idioms.

You know when it gets really cold outside, and you exhale and see the steam coming out of your mouth? Is it your breath that you’re seeing or is it your breathe? Do we need to breath so we can live, or do we need to breathe? Clearly there’s a difference between breath and breathe, a difference that extends beyond that extra “e” that appears at the end of one of them. Breath vs. breathe is a dilemma you shouldn’t be having, so let’s settle it once and for all.

How Do You Spell Breath or Breathe?

The difference between breath and breathe is a matter of word class: one of the two is a noun and the other is a verb. It’s also easy to see the connection between them, with the noun being the product of the action we describe with the verb. But with a difference of only one letter between them, breath and breathe still get mixed up when people are not clear about which one is the noun and which one is the verb.

The shorter one, breath, is the noun, and the longer one, breathe is the verb. Both have multiple meanings and uses, and are a common component of many idioms.

How to Use Breath, the Noun

The literal meaning of the noun breath is tied to the exchange of gasses we commonly refer to as breathing. In that sense, breath can refer to the process of breathing in general or the ability to breathe. You can also use breath to refer to a full cycle of breathing. For example, when you’re doing yoga, you might need to hold a pose for five breaths. Breath can also be used when we speak about the air we breath in and out during the process of breathing.

If you’d like to move away from the literal meaning of the word, you can also use breath when you’re talking about a small amount of something, usually wind. Also, breath is commonly used to signify a pause or rest, as in the phrases “take a breath” or “catch breath.”

How to Use Breathe, the Verb

Breathing is a process by which we take air into our lungs, get oxygen from it, and expel carbon dioxide back into our surroundings. At least, that’s one of the ways the verb “breathe” can be used as an intransitive verb. You can also use it to say that something allows free passage or circulation of air. That’s why you might hear someone mention an article of clothing that “breathes.” But wine can also be allowed to breathe, so the verb can also mean that something is exposed to air. Figuratively, you can also use breathe to say that something is alive.

As a transitive verb, “breathe” can be used to say that we use something in breathing – we breathe air, but we don’t breathe water. If you add “in” or “out,” breathe can be synonymous with “inhale” or “exhale.” But you can also say that you breathe life into a party, or that you breathe an air of mystery, so in these senses, you can use breathe as you would “impart” or “have.”

Breath and Breathe in Idioms

Breath and breathe appear in a number of idioms. When you say you need room to breathe, you’re saying you need freedom or more space to do something. When someone is breathing down your neck, either you’re under scrutiny or someone is chasing you and it seems they are catching up to you. When you say you can breathe easily now, you could be saying that you’re feeling relieved.

To take one’s breath away is to surprise them. When someone says that you shouldn’t hold your breath, it usually means you shouldn’t hope. A breath of fresh air is someone or something that challenges staleness. You can say something under your breath, which means to say it quietly, or do something in the same breath as something else, which means to do it simultaneously.

Examples of Breath and Breathe

“I realized as I watched him fight for breath, that his life was as important to him as mine is to me.” —The Huffington Post

“Press your shoulder blades down and keep your head and neck relaxed. Hold this for 5-10 breaths.” —The Daily Mail

“Many people find observing their breath flowing in and out is a good way to stay mindful.” —BBC

“Hardly a breath of wind: the silence that emphasizes a city’s fate.” —The Independent

“Canada wildfire: Firefighters catch a breath as rain helps in oil sands fire battle.” —ABC

“Children with sickle cell disease may breathe easier when they’re given hydroxyurea…” —WebMD

“Designers sweat the details to let athletic clothes breathe.” —The Washington Post

“Allowing a wine to ‘breathe’ is simply a process of exposing it to air for a period of time before serving.” —Total Wine

“Steve has a real feeling for red wine; he lives and breathes red wine.” —The Australian

“More than 80 percent of people living in urban areas that monitor air pollution breathe air that exceeds WHO air quality limits, according to the report, which was released Thursday.” —ThinkProgress

“Committee member Rebecca Pow, the Conservative MP for Taunton Deane, appeared taken aback by the idea that people could be breathing in plastics.” —The Independent

“All that hustling to breathe life into Main Street may have been the easy part.” —The Orange County Register

“The Memorial Day parade in Hamburg breathes an air of mystery.” —Livingston Daily

5 Ways to Write Concisely

Nobody writes a perfect first draft. Whether you love the red pen or hate it with a passion, your first draft will require some polishing. The trick is to write prose that’s brilliant yet brief, colorful yet concise. Here are five tips for writing concisely.

Cut Weasel Words

Even the best writers fall prey to weasel words. These pesky critters sneak into your writing, take up space, and contribute nothing. Common weasel words include the following:

• Really
• Basically
• Actually
• Very
• More

They often attack in groups. Consider these weasely phrases:

• “The vast majority . . .”
• “Studies suggest that . . .”
• “Some would argue that . . .”

After you write a draft, take time to banish all weasel words back to the wilderness where they belong.

Axe Redundancy

Why do something twice if you only need to do it once? Redundant phrases clutter your writing and hinder its flow.

Consider the sentence: “I love the blue color of her eyes.”

“Blue color” is redundant. Your reader already understands that blue is a color. “I love her blue eyes” is more concise.

Another example: “The reason I’m reading this is because I love writing.”

You don’t need the word “reason” and the word “because” in the same sentence. One implies the other. “I’m reading this because I love writing” conveys your point with fewer words; it’s more concise.

Incorporate Transitional Words and Phrases

Transitional words and phrases unify ideas and make your writing easy to understand. Without them, your prose can come off as choppy and directionless.

• Transitional words like however, nevertheless, and conversely pave the way toward your next idea.
• Transitional phrases like for example and as shown by help readers understand that you’re clarifying an argument.

Next time you write, try to incorporate one or more transitional words or phrases to improve cohesion.

Go Easy on the Adverbs

Some writers resist adverbs the way a cat resists a leash. The grammar gods won’t strike you down if you insert an adverb here or there, but before you do, read these two sentences:

1. Adverbs aren’t horribly bad, but they’re usually not needed.
2. Your writing will be more concise if you avoid adverbs.

Which sentence packs more of a punch? The one without adverbs – number two. Words that end in “ly” are often just careless intensifiers that add no real meaning. Vivid writing shows the reader a picture; it doesn’t tell the reader what to think.

• “I broke my diet again!” Betty wailed sadly.
• “I broke my diet again!” Betty wailed, wiping salty chocolate tears from the corners of her mouth.

The second example includes no adverbs, and it creates a clearer picture in the reader’s mind than the first. We see the salty chocolate crumbs on Betty’s lips, and we feel her bittersweet anguish.

Skip “There is” and “There are”

You could be the most energetic person on earth, but writing “There is” or “There are” makes you look lazy. Consider rearranging your sentence parts when these passive pairings pop up in your writing.

• “There are lots of people in this world who love bumpy cake” becomes “People around the world love bumpy cake.”
• “There is a stink bug in every room of my house” becomes “Stink bugs have descended upon every room of my house.”

Plenty of writers, both amateur and professional, start their sentences with “There is” and “There are.” You needn’t be one of them.

Stephen King said, “To write is human. To edit is divine.” So the next time you find yourself wrestling with a few extra words, just remember: you’re in excellent company. Are you ready to pick up that red pen and start slashing?

“Dear Tooth Fairy”: Letter-writing As Magical Persons

By Laura Wallis for The Stir by CafeMom

Few things are as monumental in an elementary-school kid’s life than losing a tooth. It’s a rite of passage, and it usually means an exciting thing is about to happen: the Tooth Fairy is going to pay a visit.

Just tucking the tooth under the pillow is usually enough to get a reward in exchange, but putting it in an envelope or folded up inside a sheet of paper means it’s less likely to get lost—and that presents a great opportunity to make some fun memories. It’s even a chance to create a lasting correspondence, if the Tooth Fairy in your house is up to the task.

Kids stumped for ideas about what to write? Here are a few example notes (spelling corrected) to help them get started.

The Whole Story For a first tooth especially, your child might like to tell the story of how that charming hole in her smile came about:

Dear Tooth Fairy, This is my first tooth! I took a bite of corn bread then my mom said how is your tooth. I felt something in my hand and I said it came out!….We were so surprised!

The Interview Every kid has questions about this mysterious fairy with the dental obsession. Now’s the chance to ask:

Dear Tooth Fairy, Where do you live? Do you have a name besides the Tooth Fairy? And what do you use the teeth for?

Of course, your Tooth Fairy has to be prepared to field some tough questions. Answers might arrive on pretty parchment, in fancy handwriting (or a fancy printed font)—the more colorful and creative, the better!

The Fan Letter Everyone appreciates it when their hard work and talents are recognized, even magical fairies. And who knows? Maybe a little flattery will earn your kid an extra buck:

Dear Tooth Fairy, I loved Rise of the Guardians with you in it!

The Wish List It’s a little known fact that the Tooth Fairy can grant wishes. Although some are more realistic than others:

Dear Tooth Fairy, Can you grant a wish for me? I wish this stuffed animal came to life.

When asked how this one was handled, mom reports that the wise fairy “threw money at the problem.”

The Complaint Sometimes, the Tooth Fairy messes up. Forgets to come, mixes up her route, gets stuck in bad weather. In this case, it’s only fair to demand an explanation:

Dear Tooth Fairy, This is my 7th tooth I’ve lost. Why did you not come last night?

And here, a response is definitely in order. An apology note, possibly with a larger-than-usual cash offering, will smooth most ruffled feathers. It’s up to the Tooth Fairy, of course, to know what will make peace in any given household.

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Laura Wallis is a freelance writer and editor specializing in all things family, home, food, and health. She currently lives in New Jersey with her husband, two children, and dog—none of whom take grammar as seriously as they should. She writes for The Stir by CafeMom.