8 Embarrassing (Yet Common) Malapropisms

You may or may not have heard of these funny little things: malapropisms. A malapropism is the misuse of a word that creates a ridiculous sentence, usually as a result of confusing similar-sounding words. This can create embarrassing situations for people, especially during public speeches. To get a better idea of how malapropisms work, check out some of the examples below.

”1”Supposively/Supposably

People sometimes say these when they mean to say “supposedly.” Supposively and supposably probably arose because they’re phonetically a little easier to say, but when you see them written down, their incorrectness becomes very obvious. Just remember, the word you’re looking for ends in “-EDLY.”

”2”Jive

Often, you’ll hear people say that one thing doesn’t “jive” with another. What they probably meant to say was “jibe.” And they’re so close to correct — only one letter off. But in meaning, the two words are completely different. The word jive means a few things, and none of them mean to complement or agree; that’s “jibe.” Jive, as a verb, either means to perform a dance called the jive or to taunt.

”3”Pacifically

When referring to anything in particular, don’t use the word pacifically. Specifically is the correct word to use here, as in the adverb for specific. Pacifically means to do something in a pacifying way, mildly, calmly, etc. Ironically, people often correcting the misuse of this word claim it relates to the Pacific Ocean. While this makes sense, you’ll have a hard time finding a definition of the word “pacifically,” capitalized or not, that relates to the Pacific Ocean. “Pacific” was an English word on its own, before applied to the ocean.

”4”It Was All an Illusion

Another close one, but not quite right. Things can be an illusion, like a magic trick, but people using this phrase typically mean to say “delusion.” A delusion means somebody was out of touch, or couldn’t understand the reality of a situation. An illusion refers to a mirage. Malapropisms like this can be the most dangerous to your writing, as spell check won’t help catch them.

”5”Could of/Should of/Would of

This might be the most frequent malapropism of all. You shouldn’t say any of these phrases. Our speech often slurs the correct words of the phrase “must HAVE” into a kind of contraction, like “must’ve.” This makes it sound like we’re saying “must of,” but the correct term is, and always has been “have.” For example: “I wrote ‘could of’ when I should have written ‘could have’.”

”6”For All Intensive Purposes

Another common malapropism, even those educated thoroughly in English seem to have a problem with this one. When you say “for all intensive purposes,” you probably mean to say “for all intents and purposes.” When you say, “for all intensive purposes,” you’re saying for intensifying purposes, or making things more intense. “All intents and purposes” should accurately portray the message you want to send.

”7”Please Precede

Sometimes, words seem purposefully confusing. Especially when it comes to words with the suffix “-cede.” In this case, when telling somebody they may precede, you probably meant to tell them that they may “proceed.” Precede means to go before something; proceed means to move forward.

”8”Sixteenth Chapel

The name of the Chapel is “Sistine Chapel.” No need to explain the meaning here; it’s just the correct name, and it happens to sound like sixteenth.

Remember, if you’ve fallen victim to these malapropisms, don’t feel too embarrassed; they can happen to anybody. When have you caught yourself using malapropisms?

Hoping vs. Hopping

Even though the difference in spelling between hoping and hopping is just one letter, the difference in meaning is actually much bigger. All you need to do is hope and hop to see how big a difference it is.

What Is the Difference Between Hoping and Hopping?

When you look up the definition of hoping and the definition of hopping, you notice that they have one thing in common—both are present participles. Hoping is the present participle of the verb hope, and hopping is the present participle of the verb hop.

To hope for something means that we want it to happen. We use hoping to form one of the progressive tenses, like the present progressive and the past progressive:

I am still hoping I’ll go to Paris by the end of the year.

He was hoping you’d have time to talk before you left.

To hop, on the other hand, is to make a small jump, and we use the form hopping like this:

The bunny was hopping happily in the backyard.

You will be hopping on one foot until your other foot heals.

The past tense forms of hope and hop can also be easily mixed up. The past tense of hope is hoped and the past tense of hop is hopped.

Peter hoped he’d never have to sit another test again.

Peter hopped across the cold floor to get his other sock.

How to Remember the Difference

The best way to remember the difference between hoping and hopping is to remember the “c-v-c rule.” If the last three letters of a verb are a consonant, a vowel, and another consonant, double the last consonant. If you know this, it’s obvious that hopping is the inflected form of hop, because hope doesn’t fit the c-v-c rule.

Hoping vs. Hopping: Examples

Andy Murray is hoping all his big rivals will offer him competition for the number one ranking in 2017.

Belfast Telegraph

SpaceX is hoping to reach speeds of up to 1 Gbps, about 200 times faster than the average user’s connection.

The Huffington Post UK

That’s right, I’m hopping on the Jake-Browning-for-the-Heisman bandwagon.

HeraldNet

That’s exactly what this teenager found when he hopped into the car for the drive back from work.

Yahoo! News UK

How to Date Introverts, From an Introvert

Dear Prospective Dates,

We need to talk. After a string of meh encounters, it’s time to clear the air: I’m a lady introvert*, and the way you’ve been going about courtship just isn’t working. As an introvert, I need a much lower level of mental stimulation to operate than ambiverts or extroverts require. Though everyone is different, you should know that we introverts don’t like “typical” dating approaches. If you want to get to know us, you have to go about things differently, and in return, we’ll be fiercely loyal and communicative partners. This letter is an attempt to outline some tips that will endear you to your introverted love interests. Take heed!

1 Cut the small talk. Cut. It. Out.

Let it be known once and for all that introverts hate small talk. Whether you are using a dating app or you approach us in line at the grocery store (meeting in a bar, are you kidding?), don’t spew cliches. You’ll get a lot further with us if you cut typical “pick-up” strategies. Instead, strike up a conversation on something more personal and relevant. “I love that flavor of Ben & Jerry’s. Have you tried the new flavor?” is far better than “Looks like a wild night. Need company?” Humor is good, but can be off-putting from strangers.

2 Take me somewhere quiet, away from the crowd.

Assuming you’ve landed a date, don’t take me to a busy restaurant or crowded bar. I will notice Every. Little. Thing. I won’t be able to focus. For introverts, getting acquainted with people is a deep investment. From the start, we prioritize the quality of communication. We much prefer to do this in spaces with limited distraction. So, a walk in the park, a visit to a new bookstore, or a calm, cosy cafe are much better options for making your introvert date comfortable from the get-go.

3 Show me your brain.

As I said earlier, getting to know someone is an investment for an introvert. If that investment isn’t reciprocated early on, we’re often left feeling that the interaction is just too shallow and uninteresting. Introverts are less likely to be interested in discussing work or home at length (unless you happen to be a librarian or your home is full of rescue animals). Instead, tell us about something you’re learning or reading. The more you show your inner world, the easier it is for an introvert to feel a connection.

4 Be careful with compliments.

Introverts rarely are comfortable as the center of attention or when they feel they’re being judged—particularly for characteristics that they themselves don’t strongly identify with. For example, you may be tempted to compliment your introverted love interest on looking nice, but it can fall flat if your date doesn’t actually identify with a strong investment in appearance.

Additionally, superficial compliments can signal to an introvert that you pay attention to something that they haven’t developed. As a result, an introvert can become self-conscious. As a rule, introverts (and probably most people) respond best to insightful, concrete compliments on their strengths, e.g., “You have great taste in music. I loved that album you told me about.”

5 Practice patience.

Because our tolerance for mental stimulation is lower than that of other personality types, if we’re unexpectedly caught in a noisy, crowded, or chaotic situation, we can have trouble functioning. It may seem like we are very quiet, zoned out, distracted, or bored. The truth is we want to continue focusing on you, but we’re flooded with details. It can be helpful for all parties to recognize that deep conversation (or, sometimes, all conversation) should be put on hold until the level of stimulation decreases.

On a related note, introverts are likely to avoid substances that heighten stimulation—excess caffeine, sugar, drugs, that really hyper dude in the corner . . . Respect our decision to abstain from additional stimulation.

In sum, we introverts function optimally in low-stimulant environments, value deep interactions over superficial ones, and genuinely don’t appreciate social pressure. In return for making the effort, we’ll be loyal, supportive, and engaged partners.

Kindly,

Your Next Introverted Date

If you’re an introvert or have successfully dated one, what tips would you add?

*These tips are written from the perspective of a heterosexual female. Some of the examples may not be applicable to other perspectives, but the general ideas should still hold.

5 Pieces of Fiction to Inspire Productivity

With 2017 beginning in earnest and resolutions being made, you may be looking for a way to make your leisure time a little more productive and guilt-free. To that end, there are some excellent pieces of fiction that provide more than just entertainment; they also inspire productivity. These are just a few titles that can motivate and energize you as you set new objectives for the year ahead.

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

This fantasy novel is often held up as a shining example of a motivational work of fiction. Written by Brazilian writer Paulo Coelho de Souza, this book tells the tale of a shepherd boy who embarks on a long pilgrimage from Spain to Egypt in search of treasure.

The boy’s journey takes on the form of a simple, earnest fable and includes mysterious, symbolic characters who test the boy or provide him with insight. The tale explores themes of transformation, hope, and desire as the boy endlessly pursues his dreams. The actual nature of the treasure is unimportant compared with the journey and the wisdom gained along the way. This novel is ideal for those who seek the motivation to pursue their innermost desires, especially in creative endeavors.

Kane and Abel by Jeffrey Archer

This novel was written in 1979 by the somewhat infamous British author and peer, Jeffrey Howard Archer. The title is a play on the biblical Cain and Abel, but rather than following a theme of sibling rivalry, it compares two distinct but intertwined lives.

The themes of the novel are more historical than religious. The two men, William Kane and Abel Rosnovski, are born on the same day and share the same power of will and determination. Kane is a wealthy American socialite, while Abel is a destitute Pole. The novel follows the lives of the two men through disaster, heartache, and strenuous endeavor. Abel’s tale, in particular, is very inspirational, as he takes a painful journey from Poland to America to make his name. Both characters undergo trials and tribulations in the worlds of industry and high society while exploring their world views and the strengths that make triumph possible.

Down and Out in Paris and London by George Orwell

This book is often overshadowed by George Orwell’s later, iconic works, Animal Farm and 1984. In 1933, Orwell published Down and Out in Paris and London, a semi-autobiographical tale about his early difficulties.

This work touches on themes of social justice and personal strength. The story is set in the 1920s and later, initially following Orwell’s younger self as he struggles with poverty in Paris. Down and Out is in many ways the novelization of a memoir, written in Orwell’s strident narrative style. He tells a tale of strife but often balances the scales with hope and humor. The first half deals with his work in the hotels of Paris, detailing awful conditions reminiscent of a Dickensian tale of woe. The second half sees Orwell arrive in London and face a whole new set of obstacles. Down and Out gains much of its inspirational quality from the presence of real-life anecdotes and evidence, detailing a true story of success against the odds.

Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse

Siddhartha is a 1922 novel that follows a tale of personal discovery, enlightenment, and spiritual well-being. This novel is sure to inspire personal growth, if not productivity, though it does demonstrate the link between the two.

The name Siddhartha roughly means “he who has found meaning” or “he who has attained his goals.” This simple and undemanding read follows a man who learns all there is to know about happiness and success as he faces various trials in his life. A novel of wisdom and fulfillment, Siddhartha is set during the time of Gautama Buddha (roughly between the sixth and fourth centuries BCE) and reads like a fable or gentle fantasy. With a pleasing historical aesthetic and powerful themes of spirituality and mysticism, this novel reminds readers to be thankful, to find out what truly matters, and to value introspection. Siddhartha is a tale about understanding goals, not just attaining them.

The Martian by Andy Weir

The Martian is a direct contrast to Siddhartha, dealing with opposite but parallel themes. This book, self-published in 2011 and later taken on by Crown Publishing, tells the tale of an astronaut stranded on Mars. The protagonist of this novel spends no time on introspection or existential matters but instead focuses purely on hard, realistic goals.

The Martian follows NASA astronaut Mark Watney, who becomes stranded on Mars after an accident. After the rest of the crew evacuates and leaves Watney behind, he must find ways to survive with very limited resources. The Martian environment is truly hostile and taxing, and Watney must rely on his ingenuity and the scraps of technology brought with him (and left behind by previous missions) to survive. The story has powerful themes of determination and resourcefulness, which are sure to inspire productivity in readers with practical minds. Watney does not assign blame or complain about his dire predicament but instead champions rational thinking and utilitarian decision-making. The Martian is a dry but powerful tale of grim fortitude.

Negatives and Negation–Grammar Rules

When you want to express the opposite meaning of a particular word or sentence, you can do it by inserting a negation. Negations are words like no, not, and never. If you wanted to express the opposite of I am here, for example, you could say I am not here.

Below, you’ll find lists of common negative words used to negate ideas.

Negative words:

• No
• Not
• None
• No one
• Nobody
• Nothing
• Neither
• Nowhere
• Never

Negative Adverbs:

• Hardly
• Scarcely
• Barely

Negative verbs

• Doesn’t
• Isn’t
• Wasn’t
• Shouldn’t
• Wouldn’t
• Couldn’t
• Won’t
• Can’t
• Don’t

Remember, when using negatives, make sure you only use one at a time in reference to any particular idea. Otherwise, you will create a double negative, which is an error in English.

12 Mental Habits That Will Derail Your Goals

It feels the same every year: you set some goals for yourself, the year starts with the best of intentions, but then it’s October and you are looking at a partially completed goal and feeling pretty frustrated with yourself. It happens to everyone—literally. But not everyone struggles all the time. Here are twelve ways that your mind is sabotaging your goals and some approaches to getting your head right.

1 Lacking clarity on values and priorities

You have a goal or two (or five) in mind for the next year or so, but you’ve only really made progress on one of them. This happens when you lack priorities. Over time, you tend to do what’s easiest or quickest and neglect goals that are more complicated and require more effort. You can avoid this by simply prioritizing your goals.

How to Overcome It Basically, figure out what really matters to you and organize your goals accordingly. TED has a great playlist to help you put everything in perspective. Then, when you start to document the values and priorities that will guide your time management, remember to keep your list simple.

Not sure what kinds of priorities and values to pick? MindTools will talk you through selecting your values, and James Clear has a good list of values to get you started. He recommends picking no more than five.

2 Being a Perfectionist

People throw away what they could have by insisting on perfection, which they cannot have, and looking for it where they will never find it. —Edith Schaeffer

Have you ever caught yourself thinking: “If it can’t be done right, don’t do it at all”? Or the more intense version—“If I can’t do it perfectly, why do it?” This is the nirvana fallacy, and it stops us from achieving our potential because it discourages us from making even make small improvements. Charly Haversat, a recovering perfectionist and former professional athlete, discusses the damage perfectionism does to our productivity and how we can try a different approach: the pursuit of good enough.

How to Overcome It There are a few ways to stop perfectionism.

• Lifehack has a great article on how to get to “good enough.”
• Let go of the fixed mindset that locks you into to an all-or-nothing situation and embrace growth. You can read more about the fixed mindset and its opposite, the growth mindset, in Carol Dweck’s book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.
• Deeply entrenched perfectionism and control are signs of anxiety, a mental illness. AnxietyBC has put together a great step-by-step guide to help cope.

3 Isolating Yourself

Taking some time for yourself to focus is one thing, but cutting yourself off from people to “avoid distraction” or “be more disciplined” is another. Very, very few people have brains that allow them to function best in isolation. Odds are that your mind will do better if you talk to people and share your ideas. Not only will you boost creativity, but you’ll give your noggin a rest from intense work.

How to Overcome It If you don’t have friends you can discuss your idea or goals with, consider finding a specialized group for your interest. MeetUp is a great way to find niche groups of people on similar journeys in everything from training for a marathon, writing a book, or building a mobile app. If there are no good MeetUps in your area, consider finding a forum or starting your own blog.

4 Not Building Your Self Confidence

If you’re your own worst critic, you might be struggling with perfectionism (see above) and a distorted sense of your own value. However, research points to one reality: what we believe is true matters. If you believe you can, your performance improves significantly. If you believe you can’t, your performance suffers. If you’re feeling a little unsure of yourself, spend some time building up your confidence.

How to Overcome It

• Take some time to regularly invest in your confidence. This TED playlist can help.
• Before you start a difficult task, jot down a few times when you felt competent and successful. It’ll get your mind in the right place for success with the new task. Having trouble? Ask a loved one or friend to tell you what you’re good at.
• Use it or lose it! Test your confidence and focus on wins when possible. Forbes discusses how to build confidence here.
• Looking for more? TIME Magazine put together a research-backed list for building your confidence.

5 Thinking Too Big—Too Often

In western culture, we have loads of axioms that encourage us to “shoot for the stars” or “think big.” There is even a push in business to pursue “big, hairy, audacious, goals” or BHAGs for short. These are well-intentioned ways to encourage us to push ourselves, and they often work in getting us out of our comfort zones; however, focusing too much on the immensity of the problem or task can be paralyzing—especially if coupled with self-doubt or perfectionism.

How to Overcome It There are two keys to dealing with a big, hairy goal. Make sure your goal is SMART, then break it down into smaller, manageable bits over a smaller, manageable timeline. Hannah Braime of the blog Becoming Who You Are outlines a step-by-step plan for tackling goals.

6 Trying to Multitask

The science is pretty conclusive—multitasking is bad for you. What you’re doing is not actually multitasking but “task switching.” The habit slows cognitive processing, decreases efficiency, lowers IQ during task completion, and increases production of the stress hormone cortisol. Though multitasking may feel good (completing small tasks rewards your brain with dopamine), it’s not a winning long-term strategy.

How to Overcome It In addition to scheduling time for checking emails, texts, etc., it can also be helpful to try out some time trackers to help you focus your time. Toggl is a popular free time tracker. If you don’t want the hassle of setting up projects to categorize your time, try the Pomodoro Timer and just commit yourself to only working on one task during a given cycle.

7 Responding Inappropriately to Criticism

Criticism, even when it’s constructive, can be hard to cope with, particularly if the criticism gets to the heart of what you are trying to do. However, if you find yourself getting too emotionally involved with criticism, it can stunt your confidence and potentially ruin your progress toward your goal.

How to Overcome It The first step to dealing with criticism is understanding what kind of criticism it is. There are three types of criticism:

• Friendly criticism, or constructive criticism, is usually delivered with good intent and is tactful, so you can clearly see room for improvement.
• Unfriendly criticism is well intentioned but poorly communicated.
• Malicious or false criticism is delivered with the intention of inflicting hurt rather than creating an opportunity for development.

Once you understand the kind of criticism you’re dealing with, you can practice techniques to processr it correctly, including, among others, focusing on the suggestion and not the tone, not taking it personally, and smiling.

8 Trying to Plan It All in Your Head

If you’re trying to plan a goal completely in your head, you’re gonna have a bad time. You’ll forget things, have a much harder time staying on schedule, and struggle to focus.

How to Overcome It Get it out of your head. Whether on paper or digitally, dump all your ideas, goals, and timelines somewhere else. There are several planning techniques that can be used for any number of different goals or projects, but the most basic and often most helpful is the simple to do list. If you’re not sure what kind of list you need, take our quiz.

9 Getting Distracted

If you are constantly finding yourself checking social media, email, or texts, you are letting your focus slip and using these little tasks to procrastinate. Some research has shown that it can take up to twenty-three minutes for you to recover your focus after a distraction!

How to Overcome It Some of the most common techniques for reducing distractions are to

• schedule “distraction time”
• batch and do small tasks last
• remove yourself from the distraction

In addition to making a few habit changes, you can also get technology on your side to fight distraction. There are several tools for your computer and browsers that will help you manage the amount of time you spend on time-sink pages like Facebook.

10 Having an All-or-Nothing Approach

An all-or-nothing approach is damaging not only because it sets you up for perfectionism but also because you lose the ability to appreciate the progress you make along the way.

How to Overcome It The key here is to focus on what you are able to achieve. On a daily basis, this can be as simple as keeping a “done” list—literally a list where you write down everything you accomplish, even if it wasn’t on your original to-do list. For bigger projects, this can be harder, but try to plan regular check-ins to assess your progress. If you’re prone to all-or-nothing thinking, it’s important that you try to focus on what you have been able to accomplish overall and not just what you have not accomplished.

11 Rushing

You’ve got a new idea. It’s exciting, and you want to start, like, yesterday. That passion and energy is terrific. Use it, but make sure you don’t put off necessary planning and research. And definitely don’t try to do an inhuman amount of work in a human amount of time. A bit of planning and balance, even fresh out of the gate, can save you from burning out or even putting too many eggs in one basket.

How to Overcome It Invest some of your creative energy in helpful ways. Conversations about your ideas with trusted friends can help you keep things in perspective. To help preserve balance, Dr. Charles Sophy recommends monitoring a life-checklist, S.W.E.E.P.—Sleep, Work, Eating, Emotional expression of self, and Play.

12 Not Sleeping On It

If you have a big project or a big decision, it might not help to dive in before a good night’s rest. The fact is that your brain needs sleep to dispose of its waste properly. Going without sleep can severely impact judgement and work quality, while good sleep can keep your brain clear and healthy while also helping drive success.

How to Overcome It Unfortunately, for many it’s difficult to get enough rest. In addition to simply blocking off enough time for sleep, there are a number of lifestyle habits that can help you easily improve your sleep.

• Turn off electronics and television at least one hour before bed. Set an alarm to remind yourself—or use iOS’s new bedtime feature.
• Keep away from blue light after dark. A tool like f.lux automatically adjusts color settings on your computer so the light is better for your eyes—and brain.
• Spend at least twenty minutes under natural daylight every day.
• Exercise more.
• Reduce or eliminate caffeine and stimulant intake after lunch.

In the end, we all have our own unique obstacles that keep us from completing our goals. By identifying which of the above habits you are prone to and trying to incorporate fixes into your planning, it may be possible to make greater progress on your goals.

What other mental habits can keep you from achieving your goals? How do you overcome them?

10 Kids’ Grammar and Pronunciation Mistakes Too Cute to Correct

By Laura Wallis for The Stir by CafeMom

All parents have mental lists of this stuff—their kids’ hilarious mispronunciations and malapropisms that were so darn cute they couldn’t bear to set them straight. We polled a bunch of parents for some of their favorite examples.

By the way, this is what baby books were made for: Enjoy the quirks and write them down before you forget. (Or, even better, make some audio recordings!) There’s plenty of time for corrections later.

Ready for School

When she started preschool, my daughter was delighted to pick out her very own “pack-pack.” She called it that all the way into first grade, when she realized her mistake and quietly made the switch to “backpack.” It was a sad day for Mom.

The Rare Mistake

I could never correct [my son] when he said “effalent” instead of elephant, back when he was two and otherwise talked like a professor.

Math Problem

My friend’s daughter, on a math assignment, wrote something along the lines of “Tom has more penis than Larry.” (Instead of pennies.) Best spelling fail ever!

And Speaking of Private Parts…

My three-year-old (who has a new baby brother whose privates she calls his “peanut”) is telling everyone she went to see The Penis Movie with Daddy this weekend.

Girl Parts Cause Even More Confusion

[My son] used to say “spacheea” instead of “vagina.” He now knows better and refers to it as “bagina.”

Celebrity Upgrade

[My nine-year-old] recently referred to Notorious BIG as Nostradamus BIG.

It’s Catching On

[My son] still says ri-dic-leous, so much so that I can’t pronounce it right anymore.

Weather Report

When it was foggy, he would say, “Look outside! It’s all dusty!”

The “Are”s Have It

He doesn’t know “do/did/etc.,” are words. He uses “are” instead. “Are you have a toy?” “Are you have a good day?”

People by Any Other Name…

They add “-ers” to words in order to describe employees of various establishments. Someone at a nail salon is a “nail placer.” Someone at a dance studio is a “dance studio-er.” Both aspire to be nail placers one day. At least we’ll save on college.

---

Laura Wallis is a freelance writer and editor specializing in all things family, home, food, and health. She currently lives in New Jersey with her husband, two children, and dog—none of whom take grammar as seriously as they should. She writes for The Stir by CafeMom.