“What’s Wite-Out?” And Other Products You’ll Have to Explain to Your Kids

By Laura Wallis for The Stir by CafeMom

What’s Wite-Out?

And other things your kids will ask to make you feel old

A friend recently mentioned that her child, upon picking up a landline phone, asked, “Mom, what is that sound?” It was a dial tone. The speed at which technology is advancing means that many once-basic details of everyday life are quickly going the way of the dinosaur. Here are just a few examples of things you probably grew up with, but for better or worse, your kids may never know about.

Wite-Out: What? You paint over typos? Why not just backspace?

Carbon paper: Our kids will cc plenty of people on email in their time, but real carbon copies—once the only way to make a second copy of a document you were working on—are ancient history. (Outside of our checkbooks. Wait…what’s a checkbook?)

Two spaces after a period: If you took a high school typing class in the ’80s, maybe even the ’90s, this was probably drilled into your head. Turns out, it was a relic even then of a time when typeset letters were all spaced the same distance apart and that extra space after a period was a necessary visual break between sentences. Modern typography fixed that problem long ago, and those two spaces now just look awkward and annoy editors everywhere. Your kids won’t do it. You should stop.

Paper maps: When we were kids, road trips usually meant one parent driving and the other navigating, with a huge map unfolded in his or her lap. It was a recipe for carsickness and occasionally getting lost and stopping at gas stations for directions, but it also made for some fun opportunities for exploration. Today, GPS and Google Maps and Waze have done away with all of that.

TV without a “pause” button: Remember running to the bathroom or to grab a snack during the commercial break? For kids today, their shows wait for them.

Fax machines: Outside of the occasional doctor’s office that still, inexplicably, wants documents faxed, this tech is a thing of the past. And good riddance! Faxes don’t do anything that emails and PDF documents can’t do (and without the awful sound).

Floppy disks: Like cassettes and VHS tapes, these once-essential data storage devices are mostly just hunks of useless plastic now. They might still contain information, but no one has the machines to access it anymore! Even CDs are starting to fall by the wayside, but at least they’re pretty—I recently saw a local preschool class making Christmas tree ornaments out of them.

Laura Wallis is a freelance writer and editor specializing in all things family, home, food, and health. She currently lives in New Jersey with her husband, two children, and dog—none of whom take grammar as seriously as they should. She writes for The Stir by CafeMom.

Two-minute Grammar: The Bare-bones Basics of Adjectives and Adverbs

Adjectives are descriptive words that modify (describe) nouns (persons, places, things, or ideas). They often tell you how many, which, and what kind. For example:

“He baked a delicious, beautiful cake.” (What kind of cake is it? It is delicious and beautiful.) “Nine members of our group signed up for the yoga class.” (How many members signed up? Nine.) “Hand me the broken radio so I can try to fix it.” (Which radio? The broken one.)

Adverbs are descriptive words that mostly modify verbs but can also modify adjectives and other adverbs. Adverbs most often tell you how, but they can also tell you where or when. Adverbs often end in -ly. For example:

“She walked slowly through the parking lot.” (How did she walk? She walked slowly.) “Lately, I have felt like I need to make a change.” (When have I been feeling this? Lately.) “I’m happy to go anywhere for lunch.” (Where can I go? Anywhere.)

There are several adverbs that do not follow the regular -ly formation. The most common of these include: well, late, and straight.  Similarly there are other irregular adverbs that have evolved from adjectives. These are considered less correct, so be careful using them in formal situations. These include: fast/slow (increasingly used instead of quickly and slowly), hard (increasingly used instead of forcibly or powerfully), wrong (increasingly used instead of incorrectly).

 

Essential History and Guide for Modern Acronym Use (Part 2 of 2)

Guest post from Scott Yates

Abbreviations and acronyms have embedded themselves in English as somewhat of an auxiliary language. If you thought Latin was a dead language, it isn’t. It lives somewhat zombie-like in some very common abbreviations like, e.g., i.e., etc.

(Notice how the “etc.” in that last sentence did double-duty there? No extra charge for that. ��

(Same goes for the double-duty parenthesis at the end of the last parenthetical winky-face.)

You could, if you like, read this list of Latin Abbreviations. Perhaps the next time someone quotes your writing and inserts “(sic),” you’ll be less confused, and definitely not flattered.

Then there are acronyms turned into words formed from the first letters of a multi-word name. (Remember “M.A.S.H.”?) When an acronym is widely used, it often becomes a word itself, and we forget its original meaning. You can look these up, but the laser, scuba and countless others, are actually acronyms formed from the first letters of word phrases. (If you’re into the more obscure military acronyms, check out the meaning of FUBAR — and its suffix BUNDY — as well as the somewhat surly FIGMO.)

The New York Times differs from the AP and others in turning acronymous words into words that are lower case, so U.S. Navy SEALs become “Seals.” Why? Because the Times says so. No other journalistic organization has hopped on that bandwagon.

In journalism it’s usually easier to spell out an abbreviation in the first paragraph of a piece and then sprinkle it with generic references like “that agency,” or “the association.”

Likewise, the Chicago Style Manual encourages students and teachers to “use abbreviations sparingly in text because they can make your writing seem either too informal or too technical.”

In blogging, too informal could also include current texting abbreviations like OMG, BRB, LOL, ROFLMAO, each of which should be taken out and shot. IMHO, anyway.

As regards the too technical caveat, there are clients out there who want their blogs laced with the heady brew of technology’s exciting acronyms and cliquish abbreviations. It floats their boat, and they’re willing to pay the freight, so I tell my writers to give them what they want.

Then there’s the common practice described in Albert Joseph’s Put It In Writing! (p.193):

“Always spell out the full term the first time it appears in any piece of writing, then follow it immediately by the acronym in parentheses, almost as if saying “…hereinafter referred to as…”

With due respect to Mr. Albert, I would disagree with his use of the adverb “always” and replace it with “never.” Should bloggers say, for example, “The National Football League (NFL) is…”?

No.

Instead, I think we should declare a Grammarly-BlogMutt Acronym Rule that a writer never follows a name with an acronym in parenthesis. According to this new rule, writers should spell out anything that needs it, and then just use an acronym in following references, but only if that acronym will be completely clear to every potential reader of what is written.

That’s the rub, however. For some readers, the NFL refers to the National Forensic League, which is an organization that arranges debating contests. (Maybe we can get them to organize a debate between those who would force us to make acronyms parenthetical, and those enlightened writers who follow the Grammarly-BlogMutt Acronym Rule.)

So, at the end of it all, what’s the rule for acronyms in modern usage? It’s the same rule that should be in the front of any writer’s mind before fingers get close to a keyboard: Consider the reader.

If you are quite sure that every single reader of what you are writing will be totally familiar with an acronym, then use it. But because so much of what we write today goes online, we don’t really know that much about the reader. What if it’s someone who is not a native speaker of the language? What if it’s someone new to an industry?

With those things in mind, we suggest that you just AAA — Avoid All Acronyms.

Missed Part 1 of this two-part series? Check it out here.

About the Author

Scott Yates was a writer for 20 years before he started a company where anyone can hire a blogger: BlogMutt. He had help in writing this post from one of the more than 3,000 active writers who have earned BlogMutt writing privileges.

5 Grammatically Questionable Tattoos

Ever make an embarrassing grammatical mistake that other people judged you for? Of course you have; we’ve all made grammatical errors at some point. Now, imagine being stuck with one of those mistakes for the rest of your life. Believe it or not, people get misspelled or grammatically incorrect tattoos more often than you could imagine. How hard is it to do a quick Google search before permanently writing your biggest mistake ever? (Pretty difficult, apparently.)

Take heed of the following embarrassingly incorrect tattoos, and save a friend from eternal shame.

Some Mistakes Are Just “to” Big

The confusion between “too” and “to” has, not surprisingly, been permanently expressed on the bodies of more people than you would expect. It’s essential to remember that “too” means to bring something to a higher degree, while “to” can be used for anything from expressing physical motion to expressing purpose or intention. Avoid the embarrassment of confusing the two similar words; your body deserves better.

Make Better Decisions “Then” Your Friends

Here are two more words that are often confused — “then” and “than.” This gripe is just as unforgiving as the previous one because one word refers to a sequential passage of time, while the other is used to compare subjects. Your “Better Then You” tattoo will serve as built-in irony for all those that see it, so be sure you understand the distinction between the two before branding your body.

“Your” Never Going to Forgive Yourself 

Perhaps one of the most prolific and annoying grammar mistakes known to man  — confusing “your” and “you’re” — makes its way onto the bodies of grammatically challenged people at an alarming rate. If you can’t see the irony in getting a “Your Special” tattoo, perhaps it’s time to read up on possessive mistakes you’ve been making all your life.

“You’re” is the contraction form of “you are,” which should have been used in the previous anecdote. “Your” is a possessive adjective that should be used to assign possession to someone. Knowing the difference between these two common words is essential for avoiding embarrassment.

Your Tattoo and “It’s” Message Speak Volumes

Like “your” and “you’re,” it seems many people are unaware of the difference between “its” and “it’s.” However, the apostrophe has a purpose and isn’t just there for its own sake — “it’s” is always the contraction form of “it is” or “it has.”

“Its” is a possessive determiner, and can be used in the first or second-person. The easiest way to remember which form to use is by knowing that “it’s” has an apostrophe to represent the letter that was removed from its two component words.

Terrible Tattoos Won’t Do You “No” Good

Double negatives are a sometimes overlooked area of grammar, as is evident in the number of tattoos that display them. Your “Don’t Never Give Up” tattoo has a few flaws in its message, which actually contradict your intentions. “Don’t” is the contraction form of “do not,” which “never” then cancels out, leaving your tattoo urging yourself and all those that see it to, indeed, give up. Beware of similar double negatives when choosing an inspiring phrase for your next tattoo, and make sure that you’re not contradicting your own intentions.

As these examples make clear, grammar errors are not exclusive to the digital and print spaces, but are often permanently etched onto human bodies. It’s essential to know you’re grammatically sound in your intentions before attempting to tattoo any inspirational quote on your body.

What’s the funniest grammar mistake that you’ve seen etched on another person’s body?

Why Self-Publish Instead of Using a Conventional Publisher

Guest Post by Richard McMunn from How2become.com

The world of book publishing has evolved over the past few decades so much so that a publishing expert 20 years ago would struggle to get an entry level job in today’s market with their skill set from that time. There are varying opinions in the industry on some pivotal elements but one thing is certain, the accessibility for individuals to self-publish is more open and transparent than it has ever been. The question that then remains is whether this is a good thing or not, and if so, who is it good for?

Cost

The first immediate benefit of self-publishing is the cost. The finance needed to print a book even before factoring marketing and distribution costs is an element that, in the past, would have stopped many publishing projects from even getting off the ground. In self-publishing online this factor is immediately removed along with all the type setting and other old fashioned pre-printing set up costs.

Looking further down the line, when an author chooses to self-publish, they can reap the added reward of lower commission costs from eventual profits. It is unfair to say that publishers and book distributors do not earn the fees that they take for their services but in a world where many of their functions can be self-managed, it is of great encouragement to authors of all kinds that they will take home a much larger percentage of the fruits of their work.

Ownership and control

This is an issue that only becomes relevant at the point that a manuscript goes from completed work to successful product. Nevertheless, the ongoing battle between publishers and authors over how a successful book should be followed up is ever present. Whether it be the nature and style of a sequel, the optioning rights for screen production or even the distribution in translated format to other countries, when an author has complete control and ownership of their work, they can be sure that financial pressure will not force them to do something they are not comfortable with.

Even before this issue becomes apparent, there is a very real element of control in the initial creative process. Once a book is commissioned in the traditional manner, authors are committed to adhering to and meeting the deadlines set by publishers. Works can be rushed, rewritten or even scrapped at the decision of the house that has financed the work. In self-publishing a writer is able to work at their own pace and is only pressured by their own self-motivated desire to complete.

The marketing process

Advertising is an expensive area in all commercial markets. Although a publishing house will often cover the cost of such a function, it will all eventually come out of the profits that a book generates. This is a difficult thing to accept, especially in the cases where there is no real evidence that larger spends on marketing have been directly influential in the increased circulation of a book.

When self-publishing, particularly through an online format like Amazon, an author is in complete control of where their work is promoted, how much is spent on marketing it, and perhaps of most pertinent importance, in what shape the marketing takes form. The notion of selling out to a concept that devalues a work simply to boost sales does not have to be swallowed when the writer is completely overseeing every decision along the way. Some may choose to take this step, but those who don’t want to, quite simply don’t have to.

The future

As the field of book publishing evolves at an increasingly quick rate, so too the expertise needed to be successful in the field changes. It is important to stay ahead of the game, or at least, to stay abreast with what is going on. Many experts and opinion makers are already talking about a day when self-publishing is the accepted norm over the use of a contracted publisher. It follows that there is immense benefit in getting a grip on this function now, before publishers become so few in number that the possibility of finding one who will accept a manuscript is unimaginably slim.

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Richard McMunn is a writer for How2become; a leading career and recruitment specialist for public sector careers. For the last 8 years How2become has helped numerous people prepare for and pass tough recruitment processes and assessment centres in order to secure their dream job. You can also connect with How2become on Google Plus.

Carmel vs. Caramel: Which Is Correct?

Generally, “caramel” is defined as a chewy, light-brown candy made from butter, sugar, and milk or cream. For example: I love eating caramels because they are soft and chewy. In contrast, “Carmel,” is used as a proper noun, and it is a popular beach town in California, known as Carmel-by-the-Sea.

Carmel and caramel are not different spellings of the same word. Caramel is the correct spelling if you’re talking about food or colors. Carmel is a misspelling when used in those contexts, but it is a word that can be used as a name for people or places.

For examples of the ways you can use caramel and Carmel correctly, read below.

Caramel and How to Use It

Caramel is a noun, and it can have one of the several meanings:

1 The sweet substance made by heating sugar or syrup until it turns brown, usually used as flavoring or coloring for food:

They are not the first bakers to note the affinity of caramel and chocolate, but by emphasizing the bitter, sweet and salty notes in both, they’ve made that rare thing: a perfectly balanced bite.

—National Post

2 A soft toffee made by melting butter and sugar:

Mr Willy Wonka can make marshmallows that taste of violets, and rich caramels that change colour every ten seconds as you suck them, and little feathery sweets that melt away deliciously the moment you put them between your lips.

—Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

3 The color of caramel, light brown:

The color brown was the theme of her outfit as she donned a caramel-colored leather purse and a brown scarf that she wrapped around her neck twice.

—The Daily Mail

If you want to say that you’re cooking sugar until it melts and turns into caramel, the verb you could use for the process is caramelize:

But roasting not only helps maintain at least a bit of their texture; it also allows the juices to caramelize and condense.

—The Seattle Times

You can also find caramelize spelled with an s and not a z, and that’s also correct—it’s just one of the ways British and American English are different:

Cooking the fish under the grill allows the miso paste to bubble and slightly caramelise, while the fish cooks evenly underneath.

—Irish Independent

Caramel has been in use in the English language for a while, but it’s not one of the words you could trace back to Old English. It entered the language during the eighteenth century from Spanish, via French. Today, it’s occasionally misspelled as carmel, likely because of the way it’s commonly pronounced.

Carmel and How to Use It

But even if carmel is a misspelling for the sweet stuff, it doesn’t mean it should never be used. On the contrary—Carmel is a popular name for cities and geographic formations:

Part of a proposed zoning ordinance in Carmel would require new buildings larger than 12,500 square feet to have at least two covered spots for bike parking and a shower for people who bike to work.

—IndyStar

The Carmel is a lovely little river. It isn’t very long but in its course it has everything a river should have.

—John Steinbeck, Cannery Row

Carmel can also be a person’s name:

With a passion for English, Carmel Bavington’s retirement did not last long at all.

—Suffolk Free Press

The Dark Side of Mother Goose

Murder, torture, mass death by plague…not exactly the stuff of children’s literature, right? Actually, if you read the rhymes of Mother Goose, it is. Most people don’t realize the macabre history of these innocuous-sounding rhymes, but dig beneath the surface, and you’ll find Mother Goose poetry is chock-full of gruesome imagery.

In fact, many of today’s nursery rhymes are sanitized versions of the grim originals. Back in the 1950s, a group of concerned citizens rallied to clean them up lest they terrify little children, a crusade similar to one today’s parents wage against violent video games.

If you doubt the dark side of good Mother Goose, check out the stories behind these rhymes.

Ring Around the Rosie

Children love to hold hands and chant this little rhyme, falling to the ground in a fit of giggles at the phrase, “Ashes, ashes, we all fall down!” What could be better than a ring of roses and a pocket full of posies? Actually, this rhyme reputedly refers to the bubonic plague that wiped out 20 percent of the population of London in less than a year. Ring of roses? The ugly rash that heralds the disease. Pocket full of posies? To disguise the smell of sickness. Ashes, ashes? Cremated bodies. Not such a cheery children’s rhyme after all.

Three Blind Mice

This cute little ditty seems bland enough, other than the somewhat disturbing imagery of a knife-wielding farmer’s wife hacking off a few rodent tails. In truth, this rhyme is about the bloody reign of England’s Queen Mary I, the fierce Catholic who spent much of her time on the throne executing Protestants. The three mice in this rhyme refer to Nicholas Ridley the Bishop of London, Hugh Latimer, and Archbishop Thomas Cranmer, who were burned at the stake for heresy. The blindness is a device referring to their refusal to see Catholicism as the true faith.

Mary Mary Quite Contrary

What could be more innocuous than a little agricultural advice? This sweet rhyme conjures up a garden full of blooms tended by smiling maidens surrounded by tinkling bells and cockle shells. In truth, however, this is another tribute to Bloody Mary and her murdering methods. Silver bells and cockle shells were medieval torture devices, and the garden is a metaphor for the fast-growing graveyards that accompanied her reign.

Jack and Jill Went Up the Hill

Reading this rhyme brings to mind a pair of laughing children merrily filling their buckets at the well and suffering a small slip as they skip down the hill. Actually, most theorists believe this rhyme is a reference to France’s King Louis XVI and his wife Marie-Antoinette, who were found guilty of treason and publicly beheaded by the guillotine.

London Bridge is Falling Down

On the surface, this utterly harmless little rhyme seems to be just another story set to a tune and turned into a playground game for children. The rhyme refers to the famous bridge of stone built by Henry II in the 1100s; no one is certain of the identity of “my fair lady.” However, the second verse is where things get gruesome. The line “Set a man to watch all night” refers to the practice of embedding living human beings into bridges and foundational walls to act as a guardian spirit. In the Oxford Dictionary of Nursery Rhymes, three bridges are cited where the bodies of adults or children were found embedded in the walls. For the record, there’s no evidence any human beings were used to build the London Bridge.

So you see, old Mother Goose wasn’t exactly the benign feathered scribe depicted in children’s books. There’s a sinister streak in her collection of kiddie poems.