How to Address Your Business Email or Letter to a Woman (Without Offending Her)

Let’s face it, formal letter-writing has gone the way of the pager. Once a necessary communication tool, it’s now a relic of an era before email, only to be used in specific, often similarly antiquated situations.

But what should you do if you have occasion to write a letter? And what if you have to write that letter to someone who isn’t a man?

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Never fear, fearless writer, you’ve got this.

The Titles, They Are A-Changin’

If titles confuse you, you’re not alone. A Google search for “how to address a letter” easily returns “to a woman,” and when you look at the recommendations for “how to address a letter to a woman,” the confusion only compounds:

Clearly, nobody knows how to address those darn women in their letters. So, as a representative of the female gender, let me clarify a few things.

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The Short Version: Just Use Her Name

When in doubt, it’s best to use the first and last name of any person you’re addressing a formal letter to. It’s both formal and conveniently gender neutral!

Dear Mrs. Jonathan Smith, Try our special new line of pens. Your husband will be thrilled that you are no longer laboring over your grocery list with a regular pen!

Dear Jane Smith,

Use whatever pens you want. You’re a human being.

Want more proof that this is the way of the future? Grammarly surveyed our audience on this topic, and found that the “Dear [First name] [Last name]” option was widely preferred. Want to voice your opinion? Vote in the poll below.

Here’s a tip: Need a more cohesive guide to addressing a letter to someone you don’t know? Check out this flowchart.

When You Should Use “Ms.”

Of course, this discussion of writing letters to ladies would be incomplete without a discussion of “Ms.” Although this title has a 100+ year history, its use has been varied over the years. Some writers default to “Miss” or “Mrs.” based on their assumptions about a woman’s marital status, or because that’s how they were taught in school. In the twenty-first century, I’d assert that it’s time to put this system of cringe-inducing honorifics behind us and stick with “Ms.” for all female-facing correspondence.

How did “Ms.” come to be? According to The New York Times Magazine the title was first proposed by an unnamed writer in a 1901 Massachusetts newspaper.

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Yes, you read that date right: 1901.

Although this first usage made a little buzz, it was quickly forgotten, and the title stayed out of the public eye for the next forty-eight years, until it appeared as a note in Mario Pei’s The Story of Language. Throughout the 1950s, “Ms.” was mentioned timidly as an expedient time-saver, without much public acclaim. Then, during the women’s movement of the ’60s and ’70s, “Ms.” took on a new, political life. This era heralded the title. Activists began to use it, Ms. magazine published its first issue, and people began to discuss the honorific as an equalizing force between men and women.

The abbreviation Ms. is simple. It is easy to write, and the person concerned can translate it properly according to circumstances. For oral use it might be rendered as Mizz, which would be a close parallel to the practice long universal in many bucolic regions, where a slurred Mis’ does duty for Miss and Mrs. alike. —Anonymous

With its rich history, it’s safe to say that “Ms.” is preferred by many women of the twenty-first century. However, there are a few times when you should definitely avoid this title.

Don’t Use “Ms.” If She Has a Professional Title

First of all, if a woman has a professional title, use it! Women who are doctors, lawyers, professors, judges, officers, etc., should be addressed just like their male counterparts. Your recipient worked hard for her MD, JD, PhD, judgeship, etc., so don’t overlook the importance of the accolade and the opportunity to make a solid first impression.

Some common professional titles include:

• Dr.—In English, this can indicate either a medical doctor (MD) or someone with a doctorate in a subject (PhD). Note: there is some debate about whether lawyers (JD) can use this title.
• Prof.—Used for professors at universities.
• Esq. (American) or Adv. (British)—A suffix used for lawyers.
• Hon. (American)—Used for judges and justices.
• Officer—Used for police officers and other types of law enforcement.

Please note that there are many more titles used in both the UK and the US to denote clergy, politicians, military members, and noble persons. You can refer to this guide from Project Gutenberg if you need help navigating the wide world of English honorifics.

Don’t Use “Ms.” If She Asks You Not to

One great thing about lady-humans is we’re all different. We have different wants, hopes, dreams, favorite bacon-enhanced foods, and even (you guessed) preferred titles. If a woman specifically asks you to use another title to address her (or uses it to describe herself), use her preference. “Ms.” may be handy, but each woman is an individual human being with different views on this topic, and since “honorifics” are meant to “honor” a person, you should respect their wishes.

Also, if you mess up someone’s title in a letter or email, don’t worry! The relative obscurity of letter-writing means most people will be more forgiving with formalities than they used to. After all, we live in a world of business emojis and work-appropriate textspeak.

Don’t Forget About “Mx.”

If you’re addressing someone who identifies as neither male nor female, or if you don’t know the gender of your recipient, “Mx.” is a great option! You can read more about how to use gender-neutral language in my blog post on the subject.

What do you think about “Ms.” as a catch-all title? Tell me in the comments below!

How to Write Dates Correctly in English

If writing dates has you stymied at times, it is probably for one of two reasons. The first is that date formats vary the world over, and we come across these different styles frequently in our reading. The second may be that you aren’t quite sure how to write dates with commas.

The key to overcoming your struggle with dates is to understand the prevailing conventions and then apply them clearly—and consistently.

How to Write the Year

Years should be expressed as numerals except at the beginning of a sentence. Most style guides agree that beginning a sentence with a numeral is poor style, so years placed at the beginning of a sentence should be written out as words. American writers tend not to use and after thousand when expressing a year after 2000 in words, but it is common in British English. Both are correct.

The year 1929 brought the Great Depression, the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, and an influenza epidemic.

Nineteen twenty-nine brought the Great Depression, the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, and an influenza epidemic.

Much happened in the political arena in 2016.

Two thousand and sixteen was an eventful year in politics.

Two thousand sixteen was an eventful year in politics.

How to Write the Month and Day

When referring to a specific date in the month-day date format, use cardinal numbers (one, two, three) rather than ordinal numbers (first, second, third). This may feel counterintuitive because we normally use ordinal numbers when we “speak” of dates. For example, one would say January first two thousand seventeen but write January 1, 2017.

Daniel was born on May 13.

Many people get confused about how to write dates with commas, so here is a rule of thumb: in the month-day-year format (used in the United States), place commas after the day and year. In the day-month-year format (used in the UK and other countries), do not use commas at all.

On May 13th, 2007 Daniel was born.

On May 13, 2007, Daniel was born.

On 13 May, 2007, Daniel was born.

On 13 May 2007 Daniel was born.

If you use a construction using of, it is fine to use an ordinal number. It is also fine to use an ordinal number when referring to a specific day without reference to the month.

Daniel was born on the 13th of May.

Daniel was born on the thirteenth.

How to Write Dates with Days of the Week

When writing a long-form date, use a comma after days of the week to ensure readability.

How fortunate that the world did not end on Friday, December 21, 2012!

Monday, May 5, is my last day of work.

How to Write Centuries

Here’s a tip: When writing about whole centuries, do not use an apostrophe before s. Centuries are plurals, not possessives.

For example, when we write the 1800s, we are referring to all the years from 1800 to 1899. Within that range are one hundred discrete years; that is, more than one: a plural. We can also refer to those years collectively as the nineteenth century in all lowercase letters.

Women often wore bonnets in the 1800’s.

Women often wore bonnets in the 1800s.

Women often wore bonnets in the eighteen hundreds.

Women often wore bonnets in the Nineteenth Century.

Women often wore bonnets in the nineteenth century.

How to Write Decades

Here’s a tip: Decades should be written as two-digit numbers with an apostrophe before them and an s after them (e.g., ’90s). When in doubt, write it out. You can write the entire decade in numerals with an safter it (e.g., 1990s), or write out the words (e.g., the nineties).

This is the way to think about writing decades using numbers: they are both abbreviations and plurals. A shorter way of saying “My mother was born in the 1940s” is “My mother was born in the ’40s.” The apostrophe (not an opening single quotation mark) indicates where the two century digits would be, had they been included. There is no need to put an apostrophe between the zero and the s—that would incorrectly indicate a possessive.

In the 80’s, I had a haircut like the lead singer of A Flock of Seagulls.

In the ’80s, I had a haircut like the lead singer of A Flock of Seagulls.

In the eighties, I had a haircut like the lead singer of A Flock of Seagulls.

Writing Dates as Numerals

All-numeral date styles should not be used in formal writing, but there may be times when it is appropriate to use them. When you do, be aware that not all countries express dates with numerals in the same way. American usage calls for a month/day/year date format, the United Kingdom and much of Europe use a day/month/year format, and most countries in Asia use the year/month/day format. Some countries use a combination of these depending on context (Canada, for example, uses all three, depending on who is the recipient of the communication).

So remember, if you are American and you write to your British friend inviting him to celebrate Independence Day on 7/4 with you, you can expect your guest to arrive on April 7 (which he will express as 7 April). Likewise, if he invites you to his Guy Fawkes Day party on 5/11, you will need to mark your calendar for November 5 rather than May 11.

Here’s a tip: Consider your audience when choosing how to express the date.

Monday Motivation Hack: Make the Hard Choice

Whether you’re a decisive taskmaster or someone who struggles to choose what to eat for breakfast, you will eventually have a decision that stumps you. Sometimes, these are big life choices like taking that job, choosing that partner, or moving to that new city. Other times, seemingly small decisions like which font you should use in your presentation can trip you up.

Never fear, future decision-makers! There are several hacks to help with decision-making, but let’s start with the most basic element of a decision—your baseline. In other words, what measuring stick do you consistently use to make decisions? How do you measure yourself?

Finding an “Anchor” for Your Decision-Making Process

Let’s say you had to decide whether you would get a new car. You do your research, find a car you think is cool, and purchase that car. The next day, one of your friends posts a picture of their expensive, flashy car on Facebook. How would you feel?

The Self-Comparison Trap

If that made you feel uncomfortable, you may fall prey to the classic trap of comparing your decisions to those of others. This is an example of what motivation experts call an “anchor”: the baseline you use to make decisions. Common examples of “anchors” are colleagues at work, family members, classmates, friends, and even people you don’t know but look up to.

If you compare yourself to others when making decisions, you’re not alone. In fact, many psychologists have theorized that social media has only made this problem worse. Whether Facebook or good old-fashioned bragging is to blame, it’s clear from the number of searches for “compare yourself” that this anchor isn’t going away anytime soon:

In a world where we’re constantly benchmarking ourselves against one another, how do we make good decisions?

Anchors Away! Changing Your Baseline

The answer to this comparison conundrum is easy: you need to change the anchor you use to make decisions. Instead of comparing your professional success, personal goal completion, and self-image to others, you can use yourself as a baseline. Once you stop making “social” comparisons and begin using your past performance as the anchor for future decisions, you’ll find decision-making becomes much easier and less fraught with stress.

There are a number of techniques to make yourself your decision-making baseline, but it all starts with questioning how you measure a successful decision. Do you compare yourself to others, or do you focus on your past decisions and use those to inform future ones?

What do you think about comparing yourself to others? Tell us in the comments below!

The Best Podcasts to Help Your Work Life

Some say you are what you eat. What about what you listen to? Edison Research found that people who listen to podcasts “often take action in direct response” to what they hear. If you have a career goal, it only makes sense that listening to an informational or motivational podcast on the subject will help you. Here are seven of the best podcasts for improving life at work.

Brain Training Podcast

According to its website, Brain Training Podcast is “the daily audio workout for your head.” Just as physical exercise strengthens your body, mental stimulation makes your brain stronger. Rather than a tedious exercise session, Brain Training uses games to get your mind working. Some of the games seem low-impact, such as Order, which asks you put a list of random numbers in ascending order. Others might make you sweat as you try to recite a list of letters and figures, which sounds easy until you realize the name of the game—Backwards.

Happier With Gretchen Rubin

Who doesn’t want to be happier and more productive? In one British study, the productivity of a group of workers rose by an average of 12 percent. Why? They were happier than before and the study’s author, Dr. Daniel Sgroi indicated that this gain is easily replicable if managers create “work practices aimed at boosting happiness.” Rather than wait for your manager, why not take your happiness into your own hands? Writer Gretchen Rubin tackles the subjects in her podcast series. Plenty of topics apply to the workplace. For example, the episode “One of the Worst Ways to Waste Time Is to ______” identifies things that don’t need to be done. With the time you save, you’ll be able to increase productivity and also spend time in the pursuits that make you happiest.

How I Built This

Are you intimidated by the thought of starting your own business or patenting an invention? The How I Built This series follows the stories of successful entrepreneurs from beginning to end. Not every story is entirely rosy; some innovators had as many hard knocks as they had victories. By the time you finish listening, you may be motivated to get started on your goals.

The Tim Ferriss Show

If you eat a tasty dish in a restaurant, you may be able to guess many of the main ingredients. Tim Ferriss attempts find the recipe for success by “deconstructing excellence.” He asks the highest performers of different industries what their daily habits are like and who their role models are. He separates out the main ingredients, sharing tips that anyone can use. He pushes you to question things you never thought about, such as who you sit next to in the break room. According to Ferriss, “You are the average of the five people you associate with most, so do not underestimate the effects of your pessimistic, unambitious, or disorganized friends. If someone isn’t making you stronger, they’re making you weaker.”

Inside Mastery

Most employees would love to increase productivity and reduce stress. Inside Mastery examines performance in the light of neuroscience and psychology. What are the best practices of those at the top of their fields? In each episode, a distinguished presenter shares proven techniques from their own experience or research. For instance, CEO Caroline Webb hosts “How to Have A Good Day: Harness the Power of Behavioral Science to Transform Your Working Life.” She shares insights from behavioral science such as how implementation intentions affect your work ethic.

Writing Excuses

I don’t have time to learn to be a better writer. In my occupation, writing isn’t very important. What reasons do you give for failing to improve your writing skills? Experienced authors host the podcast each week. The podcasts eliminate the excuses. The audio is short—usually less than twenty minutes—and the methods are for everyone “whether they write for fun or for profit, whether they’re new to the domain or old hands.” Once you run out of excuses, you might find yourself writing better than you ever thought possible.

HBR Ideacast

Sarah Green, editor of Harvard Business Review, hosts this weekly program. It features tips from successful upper managers about everything from dealing with conflict avoiders and seekers to healthy team building practices. Guests hosts include CEOs of Fortune 500 companies and some quite famous names—Greg Louganis, Katie Couric, and Salman Rushdie, to name a few.

Changing from a poor diet to a nutritious one can boost your physical health. Likewise, listening to podcasts can have a strong positive effect on your work life. What are your career goals? Feed them, and watch them grow by listening to one of these seven excellent podcasts today.

Advisor vs. Adviser

• Adviser is a person who gives advice.
• An advisor does the same thing—the only difference is in the spelling.
• Adviser is the older and the preferred spelling.

Advisor vs. adviser is probably not the most important or the most annoying conundrum related to the verb advise. That honor goes to advise vs. advice because mixing them up is a more damaging mistake. But still, people wonder about advisor and adviser because we don’t have two different spellings for every word in the English language—it’s not common. And there’s always the notion that different spellings of the same word might convey at least a slight difference in the meaning. All the more reason to figure out, once and for all, which of the two spellings is correct, or which is more correct than the other, and whether they carry different meanings.

The Difference Between Advisor and Adviser

Advisor and adviser are what we call agent nouns, nouns that are used to indicate someone who does something. If you’re reading this article, then you’re a reader. If you like to write, you might be an aspiring writer. People who dance are dancers, those who translate are translators. So, people who advise are advisers. Or advisors.

The difference between advisor and adviser is mostly in the suffix used to create the noun from the verb. Yes, there are some who claim that the -or spelling is better suited for titles. But this can hardly be called a rule because you’ll often see the other spelling, the -er one, used in professional titles.

So it really comes down to the suffixes. -Or is more commonly used with verbs that have a Latin origin, although -er is the go-to suffix for agent nouns. There’s also -ist, which is sometimes used for verbs that end with -ize. So, it can be said that adviser has a more Germanic tint, while advisor has a classical, Latin feel about it. But the meaning of the word, whichever suffix you use to make it, stays the same.

Advisor, Adviser—Which One to Use?

So if neither of the spellings is wrong, are there any reasons you should choose one instead of the other? For one, there’s consistency. If you plan to include the word in your text, it might be best to choose a spelling and stick with it. Which spelling you choose might depend on where you are, and where your audience is—adviser is the strongly preferred spelling everywhere apart from North America. In the U.S. and Canada, it’s more common to see advisor as a part of official titles, and it’s also the spelling that’s seemingly preferred by the U.S. Government.

But then again, you’ll notice that some newspapers, including The New York Times, prefer adviser over advisor. The AP Stylebook agrees. In academia, however, advisor is the term that’s more commonly used on both sides of the pond. Some industries might use one of the two spellings whether it’s the norm in their country or not. Consequently, your choice of spelling might depend on multiple factors. The important thing to remember is that neither of the two is wrong.

Examples: Advisor and Adviser in Sentences

Impressed, Billy helped Paul land a job as a military advisor on the film Jason Bourne 5. —The Daily Mirror

Some of the advisors have worked with Trump on his real estate projects. —TIME

A former top adviser to President Barack Obama on Sunday labeled Donald Trump a “psychopath,” saying the Republican presidential nominee met the clinical definition of the personality disorder. —Newsweek

If we’re acting that foolishly, clearly we should be handing our money over to professional financial advisers. —Bloomberg

7 Noteworthy Tips for Your First Week at a New Job

Congratulations on landing a new job!

Do you feel nervous or anxious about your first week? Being prepared will not only help you avoid stress but will also set the tone for the rest of your tenure at your new company. Check out these seven useful tips!

1 Build rapport with your colleagues. Your coworkers will be your allies if you take the time to create positive relationships with them. Don’t wait for them to approach you. Take the initiative to extend a friendly greeting and learn their role in the company. For large workforces, it might help you to jot down a few notes in your cell phone or notebook. Though it’s fine to check out fellow workers on professional networking sites, such as LinkedIn, some people may find it weird if you comment on things you learned about them through Facebook. Spend the most time getting to know the people you will work with on a daily basis. Lunchtime and breaks are an ideal time to chat.

Karen, red glasses, corner office, accounting, two sons in college

Brent, met in elevator, custodian, speaks Cantonese

2 Learn your way around the building. How confident do you feel when you’re lost? On your first day, take a few moments to walk around the building or ask one of your new friends for a tour. For a big building, you might want to draw yourself a map of the key areas and who works where.

3 Hit the ground running, but not so hard you injure yourself. Volunteering for duties will make an impression on your superiors, but there are some surprising downsides that you should consider. First, if you bite off more than you can chew, you will seem frazzled, untrustworthy, or incompetent. Second, your coworkers might resent you if what you do seems to make them look bad. Aim for balance. Be willing to accept assignments and help others, but don’t commit yourself to more than you can accomplish.

4 Set your priorities. What do you want to accomplish at this job? Why did the company hire you? Write down one or two of your top values or objectives. By determining what your priorities are, you can organize your new schedule around your goals. Many experts encourage people to attack the largest, most important projects early in the day or week. Later, you can work on some of the less pressing tasks.

5 Travel the old trails before you try to blaze new ones. If you are in a managerial role, change may create chaos if you’re not careful. Find out what the old routines are. Though some policies may seem strange to you, why change them if they work? The founder of a job search consultancy firm, Jaime Petkanics, gave a rule of thumb: “My best advice for the first week at a new job is to listen and observe first, and act second. Use your first week on the job to get the lay of the land, learn and listen. Once you have a really solid understanding of what’s going on, who your key partners are and where you can add value, then start moving and making an impact.”

6 Manage your expectations. By the end of the first week, I will befriend everyone in the company, solve one of their major problems, and organize my work schedule for the next three months. Is this a reasonable expectation? If your expectations aren’t reasonable, you will be unhappy and disheartened when you fail to reach them. On the other hand, set your expectations too low and you might end up unemployed in a few months. Make it your mission to find out your employer’s expectations for your job role. (You might revisit the original job posting.) It’s okay to exceed the requirements, but be realistic about what you can accomplish the first week, month, and year on the job.

7 Don’t forget that you are a human being. You’ll work best if you maintain a healthy lifestyle. Wake up early enough to eat a nutritious breakfast. Make smart choices for your lunch and dinner. Keep in touch with your old colleagues and friends, and spend a little time socializing with them, if possible. Get sufficient rest at night. You should also pursue hobbies that interest you. According to Psychology Today, hobbies remind you that you are not just an employee. A failed project at work won’t damage your identity as a musician or an athlete. Joining a club based related to your pastime will also help you foster strong social connections.

Whether your first days at work are stressful or exciting depends on how prepared you are. Will you apply these useful tips? You won’t regret getting your first week off to a great start. And soon, you’ll be an old pro.

Is the Cover Letter Dead?

The cover letter was once a valuable tool for all job seekers hoping to get by the HR gatekeeper. However, the rise of innovative tech, social media, millennials, and good old-fashioned networking is killing the cover letter.

The only thing missing from the decline of the cover letter is a time of death. In fact, chances are your cover letter won’t even be read, according to Fortune. Nearly 90 percent of hiring managers admit to never reading cover letters.

Interestingly, most job posts require a cover letter despite the unlikeliness of it getting more than a quick glance. Studies have found, however, that cover letters still get read if submitted with a resume.

The cover letter is as out of fashion as Hammer pants and Beanie Babies. Unless a cover letter is explicitly required, it is a waste of time and effort. Here’s why.

Your Social Media Accounts Are the New Cover Letter

It may not come as a surprise, but your social media presence is very accessible. Recruiters know this and they will check out your profiles and activity. Social media is, in effect, the new cover letter, and at times the new resume.

This can be an advantage or a disadvantage, depending on your digital footprint. When recruiters want to know something about potential candidates, they simply Google them or check their Twitter accounts. Your Facebook photos are far more compelling and revealing about who you are compared to a thoughtfully scripted cover letter.

Old-Fashioned Networking Is Another Cover Letter Killer

Your cover letter may include all the traditional pleasantries, but there is always a more effective way to put your best foot forward. Networking is often far more effective than a cover letter.

In fact, 70 to 80 percent of jobs are never posted online, Matt Youngquist, president of Career Horizons, told NPR. This makes the cover letter a time-consuming effort with little return. Networking is possibly the best and fastest way to land the job you want.

Freelancers Have Saturated the Job Market

Companies large and small, including fresh startups, have all gone the route of the freelancer. Often, a cover letter is not part of the equation when hiring for contract positions.

An estimated 34 percent of the American workforce is composed of freelancers, according to a study conducted by the Freelancers Union. And this is expected to rise to 50 percent by 2020.

The wide range and availability of freelancers has made the cover letter irrelevant. Why bring in new employees on a salary when a freelancer will do the work on a project basis? Freelancers are often more economical for companies as well.

Professional Online Platforms Are a Recruiter’s Dream

If a recruiter needs to fill a position fast, why take the time reading endless cover letters? All the information they need is on a potential candidate’s professional online profile such as LinkedIn. In fact, nearly 93 percent of recruiters use LinkedIn to fill their company’s talent pool.

Professional online platforms like LinkedIn are not only killing the cover letter, they are also putting the resume to rest as well. Many companies even permit potential candidates to apply to a job with their LinkedIn profile.

Don’t toss your cover letter just yet. There is still a place for it in your job hunt as it takes its last fleeting breaths of life. Though the cover letter is nearly dead, it is still required for the many jobs still posted online. However, focusing on your professional digital footprint more than your cover letter may prove to be time better spent.

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Vera Marie Reed is freelance writer living in Glendale, California. This mother of two specializes in education and parenting content. When she’s not delivering expert advice, you can find her reading, writing, going to museums, and doing craft projects with her children.