Who vs. Whom

Whom should be used to refer to the object of a verb or preposition. When in doubt, try this simple trick: If you can replace the word with “he”’ or “’she,” use who. If you can replace it with “him” or “her,” use whom.

• Who should be used to refer to the subject of a sentence.
• Whom should be used to refer to the object of a verb or preposition.

---

Who or whom? If you’re like most English speakers, you know that there’s a difference between these pronouns, but you aren’t sure what that difference is. After reading this article, you might conclude that knowing when to use who or whom is not as difficult as you think.

When to Use Who

In a sentence, who is used as a subject. Let’s look at a couple of examples:

Who would like to go on vacation?

Who made these awesome quesadillas?

When to Use Whom

Whom is used as the object of a verb or preposition. Consider these examples:

To whom was the letter addressed?

Whom do you believe?

I do not know with whom I will go to the prom.

The Difference Between Who and Whom

How can you tell when your pronoun is the object of a verb or preposition? Try substituting “he” or “she” and “him” or “her.” If “he” or “she” fits, you should use who. If “him” or “her” fits, you should use whom. Keep in mind that you may have to temporarily rearrange the sentence a bit while you test it.

Who/whom ate my sandwich?

Try substituting “she” and “her”: She ate my sandwich. Her ate my sandwich. “She” works and “her” doesn’t. That means the word you want is who.

Whom ate my sandwich?

Who ate my sandwich?

Let’s look at another:

Who/whom should I talk to about labeling food in the refrigerator?

Try substituting “he” and “him”: I should talk to he. I should talk to him. “Him” works, so the word you need is whom.

Whom should I talk to about labeling food in the refrigerator?

You can also use questions to determine when to use who and when to use whom. Are you talking about someone who is doing something?

Gina drives her mother’s car to school.

Yes, you are talking about someone doing something, so use who in your question.

Who drives her mother’s car to school?

Now look at this sentence:

The car is driven to school by Gina.

No, the subject of the sentence (car) is not performing the action. Use whom in your question.

The car is driven to school by whom?

By whom is the car driven to school?

If you think the whom examples sound awkward or prissy, you are not alone. Many people don’t use whom in casual speech or writing. Others use it only in well-established phrases such as “to whom it may concern.” Some people never use it. It’s not unusual at all to hear sentences like these:

Who do you believe?

Who should I talk to about labeling food in the refrigerator?

Who vs. Whom Quiz

The Best Ways to Set Goals and (Actually) Get Results From Them

A few years ago, I had to come to terms with my burgeoning habit of browsing housing rental ads on Craigslist for places in the Pacific Northwest. I’d look at the listings and wonder, What would it be like to live in Washington? Wondering soon turned to obsession, and obsession spurred research. Before I knew it, I’d made a decision—I was going to leave my ancestral home in the upper Midwest and trek two thousand miles to live near the shores of Puget Sound.

I’d set a goal: “Head west, young (*cough*) woman! Head west!”

I’m at my desk now writing this article from what I consider to be the happiest place on earth. The natural surroundings, the people, and the culture called me here and I have an overwhelming sense that I’ve found where I was meant to be. But I couldn’t have done it without setting goals.

It turns out that I accidentally did goal-setting right. I chose one overarching intention, set a concrete goal, which I focused on from a positive angle, and then broke it down into achievable steps. Although I didn’t look into goal-setting techniques before I determined that I was moving west no matter what it took, I got lucky—psychology backs up my methods. Here’s how I made it happen.

Begin by setting your intention.

What do you want? Start with the big picture. For me, moving west was part of a more abstract desire: “Find your place in the world.” Your overarching motivation might be to get healthier, or to be less solitary. Your intention isn’t the same as your goal; it’s the why behind it.

Take time for deep reflection. What do you truly want to accomplish or see change in your life? We have a tendency toward wishful thinking, but it’s effort, not daydreaming, that makes our wishes into reality. Setting an intention is the first step toward actualizing your desires.

Set a concrete goal.

Now it’s time to set your primary goal, the Big Thing you want to achieve that will bring you closer to your intentions. There are just a few simple rules.

• Aim to be actual. Think of this process as taking a big abstract goal and making it more concrete. For me, this step meant taking “find your place in the world” a step further with “move to the Pacific Northwest.” For you, “get healthier” might begin with “be more active.” Make sure your goal is something you can actually do. You may want to become a rich, famous novelist, but that’s dependent on a lot of outside factors, from agents to editors to fickle markets. It’s okay to be ambitious, but keep your goal within the realm of possibility. “Finish writing a novel” would be a better place to start.
• Frame your goal in a positive way. When I decided to move west, I thought of it as beginning a new life adventure rather than getting the hell out of my small Midwestern town. Positive motivation is the key, whereas negativity and avoidance-based goal-setting doesn’t seem to work as well. So, choose goals like “eat healthier” over “lose weight.”
• Write down your goal, and then write a little bit about it every day as you imagine what your life might be like if everything progressed perfectly. Do this for several days in a row. Research shows this technique works!
• Make sure it’s about you. The only person you can control is yourself, which is why a goal like “get people to like me” doesn’t work while “be more sociable” does.

Break your goal down into actionable steps . . . backwards.

I wanted to move west. I knew that much. Now, I had to figure out how to make it happen. That involved assessing my huge goal, figuring out all the smaller steps I’d need to take to get results, and prioritizing them. Trying to suss out how to get from A to Z can feel overwhelming. That’s why it’s sometimes easier to work backwards. My move west is a good example of that process in action.

I imagined the very last thing I would need to accomplish right before achieving my goal—“move into my new place.” What would have to happen right before that? Hmm. I’d have to drive cross-country. And before that? Pack my moving truck. And prior to packing my moving truck, I’d have to pack my stuff into boxes.

But before I could pack a moving truck, I’d have to actually rent one. The flow of your action plan won’t always be linear, and you’ll realize that certain steps (packing a truck) are sub-tasks of another (rent a truck). That’s okay. The idea of working backwards is simply to get things rolling along. Pondering your steps from the top down can feel overwhelming, but working backwards breaks that spell. Think of it more as a brainstorming session. You’ll organize everything later.

Keep the process fluid. Part of achieving your goals is being able to adjust your action plan as you go along. For instance, I originally planned to secure a moving truck, and I even went so far as to rent one. But then I decided that I didn’t have furniture valuable enough to warrant me paying nearly $3,000 to move it across the United States. I revised my plan, organized a huge moving sale, donated what I couldn’t sell, and packed my most important treasures into my minivan.

Goals are meant to help you shape yourself into the person you want to be. It’s all you, baby! Just remember that nothing, not even your goal itself, is written in stone. It’s completely up to you to decide where you want to be in life and how you’ll get there. You’re the master of your fate.

Study Shows Political Language Is Changing, Affects Parties Differently

Though we might not think much about them in the context of all the issues discussed during elections, rhetoric and language play a critical role in the success of U.S. presidential candidates. The 2016 presidential election process has been particularly fascinating and prompted us to take a closer look at how election language has changed over time and how it influences candidate success.

In our study, we found:

• the complexity of politicians’ language is decreasing, according to analysis using seven different Grammarly clarity algorithms, such as sentence length and frequency of the passive voice, and
• less complex language correlates with higher poll results for Republican politicians, while simpler rhetoric corresponds to lower poll results for Democrats.

Do you follow U.S. presidential elections? Have you noticed any changes in language over the years?

Share this infographic with your readers by copying and pasting the embed code below. Please attribute and link the infographic to https://www.grammarly.com/plagiarism-checker#political-language-changing-affects-parties-differently

Methodology Grammarly aggregated the debate transcripts transcribed by UCSB. We ran our most accurate and applicable clarity checks for speech on the transcripts. Grammarly focused on the candidates who were in general elections since 1960 for the study of general elections. For the 2016 election cycle, we analyzed candidates who had an average rating of at least 5 percent from July 1, 2015, to May 8, 2016. The top 15 topics were taken from Google’s On the Issues Rich Cards.

What Part of Writing Is Important at Work?

Are you a confident editor? Tell us!

This poll is part of a series that Grammarly is running aimed at better understanding how the public feels about writing, language learning, and grammar.

Please take the poll and share your thoughts in the comments. We can’t wait to hear from you!

If you are interested in more, check out last week’s poll.

Willpower Is a Muscle—Here’s How to Make It Stronger

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), children who demonstrate stronger willpower in the lab end up having better school attendance and stronger academic performance while also being more likely to have “greater physical and mental health, fewer substance-abuse problems and criminal convictions, and better savings behavior and financial security” as adults. Yet, in the APA’s Annual Stress Survey, lack of self-control is the leading reason Americans fail to follow through with healthy lifestyle changes. We’d all like more willpower. Unfortunately, many of us lost whatever lottery would have given us more self-control.

Right?

Wrong. It turns out that willpower is a skill that can be practiced and strengthened.

Your inability to keep your hand out of the cookie jar despite years of New Year’s resolutions might actually come down to a weak or underdeveloped willpower muscle rather than a predestined lack of self-control. But, before you start berating yourself about wimpy willpower muscles. . .

Take your eyes off the cookie jar. Look at me. This is exciting.

. . .new research shows that your willpower may not really be all that weak. In some ways, our modern world sets us up to fail. But in the face of all this, you can get better. So, how do you increase willpower?

What Is Willpower? How Does It Work?

Before we dive into the juicy stuff, it will be helpful to get on the same page about what we mean when we say “willpower.”

Essentially, you use willpower when you forego immediate gratification in order to achieve long-term goals.

According to Roy F. Baumeister, author of Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength, understanding self-control comes down to understanding these things:

• Willpower is like a mental muscle.
• It fatigues like a muscle if it is worked too hard, leading to “ego depletion” or “willpower depletion.”
• Exercising restraint isn’t all that can exhaust the mental energy needed for self-control; decision-making of all kinds also depletes willpower.

With that context, it becomes more clear why your willpower might not be the problem: your environment plays a role, too. Dr. Kathleen Vohs explains, “[t]here is research that shows people still have the same self-control as in decades past, but we are bombarded more and more with temptations,” and “[o]ur psychological system is not set up to deal with all the potential immediate gratification.”

Just let that sink in.

All the media we consume, all the advertisements, the fast pace of life, the seemingly unlimited options at the store—even having too many clothes in your closet can be a drain on your willpower! Between all the temptations we encounter and the thousands upon thousands of decisions we make each day, no wonder that willpower is nowhere to be found when we need it most.

So, what’s the good news?

According to loads of research, you absolutely can strengthen and increase willpower so that in the face of everything, you will reach your goals.

How to Increase Willpower

More good news: there are several research-backed strategies to help you manage your willpower resources and strengthen your self-control muscles—even if you think you have none. The simplest strategies for improving self-control include meeting your basic physical needs and removing unnecessary decision-making from your daily life. The more complex strategies will take time and effort but are most effective in helping you fortify your willpower over time.

1Eat regularly.

The severe lack of determination you feel when you’re hungry isn’t just in your head. Research supports the idea that willpower requires a lot of brainpower, and the brain needs food. If you aren’t feeding your brain enough or often enough, your willpower will suffer. For this reason, if you’re trying to lose weight—or even write that term paper—eating small meals often improves your self-control.

2Remove temptations.

In his ground-breaking Marshmallow Experiment (yes, that’s what it was called), Dr. Walter Mischel and his team placed a plate of marshmallows on a table and gave children a choice between eating one marshmallow immediately or waiting for an unspecified time for two. What they found is that children who distracted themselves—closed their eyes, looked around, etc.—were able to resist temptation much longer than those who didn’t take their eyes off the plate of pillowy marshmallows. This “out-of-sight-out-of-mind” tactic has been confirmed to work for adults—in offices, with candy. So, if you want to avoid willpower depletion, remove some temptations.

3Reduce the number of decisions you have to make.

Remember willpower feeds on the same energy as all your decision-making. Try to limit the number of decisions you have to make. Here are some ideas for how to reduce the number of choices you make day-to-day.

• Prepare your meals in advance once or twice a week.
• Plan your weekday outfits on the weekend or try a capsule wardrobe. While planning an entire week of outfits is great if you live somewhere with reliable weather, a capsule wardrobe can have a similar effect and give you flexibility. Basically, you just pick items that match one another. My closet, for example, is all based on the same palette. It makes dressing—and shopping—much less stressful.
• For projects, create a structured plan to follow or get a professional to help. If you’re doing something like trying to get in shape, doing the same structured exercises might help you stick to it. Also, hiring a professional to handle the details can pay off big time. With my personal trainer, all I do is show up. He worries about the rest—which exercises, how much, and he gets it all set for me. Plus, I made a friend.
• Outsource! Somewhat related to hiring a professional, outsourcing decisions is a good way to get things off your plate or just have a little fun. For example, at our office we get lunch deliveries from various places nearby—we just have to order it. Some folks, however, have discovered someone else on the team with similar tastes and told our office manager to always order what so-and-so is having. For larger projects, like publishing a report or planning an event, learn to let go of control. Get everyone on the same page to start, but then let others own some decision-making.
• Batch tasks. This won’t really help you limit the number of decisions you have to make, but it will help you remove the distractions that some decisions cause. Check your email at fixed times or, if you use Slack, learn to love the “Remind me about this” function.

4Focus.

According to Baumeister, one of the worst things you can do for your willpower is try to make too many changes at a time (ehrm, New Year’s Resolutions?) You’re much better off picking one.

5Do some emotional TLC.

Unsurprisingly, emotions can have a big impact on your willpower.

• Show your emotion. Tom Heatherton and Katherine Vohs measured self-control of people who had just seen a sad movie. One group had been told not to show their emotions and another group had been told to let their emotions out. The group that showed their sadness performed better on the willpower tests, presumably because they didn’t need to use up their self-control supply trying to hide their emotions. So, let it out!

• Stop people pleasing. Making others happy and conforming to their standards is a surefire way to zap your willpower. Find ways to motivate your behavior that don’t require external approval.
• Check your frame of mind. Baumeister found that just thinking positively about one’s willpower improved self-control outcomes in tests. So, if you’re having trouble resisting temptation, think about a few examples where you exhibited restraint successfully before trying again.

6Increase your motivation.

Inevitably, there will be times when your willpower is waning. In times like these, focus on motivation. Research by Mark Muraven shows that low-willpowered people perform better on self-control tasks when they’re told they will be paid. When you’re feeling temptation taking over, focus instead on how you can better motivate yourself. In the weight-loss game, for example, there apps like Gympact that bill you for not hitting the gym and pay you for living healthfully.

7Use some “Implementation Intention.”

In Willpower, Baumeister and co-author John Teirney outline how to cope in the face of temptation and bolster your self-control using a technique called “implementation intention.” It works this way: before you experience a temptation, you should already plan out your response. Let’s say you are avoiding unhealthy food. If you’re at a party and someone offers you dessert, you can plan to decline and instead ask for some fresh fruit. The key here is to think about situations when your willpower will be tested and prepare a response in advance—basically make your decision in advance.

8Practice self-control.

The most challenging but best way to strengthen your willpower muscles is to actually use them. Baumeister suggests creating simple but challenging tasks that require some effort to adhere to. For example, you can commit to turning the light off in every room you leave, putting away your clothes at the end of each day, or eliminating filler words from your speech. These relatively easy tasks, practiced diligently, will hone your self-control skills—and build your confidence in the face of temptation.

Without a doubt, fortifying willpower isn’t easy, but the benefits that come with reserves of self-determination can give you an edge. Researchers have even shown that strength of willpower is more strongly correlated with academic performance than IQ is. The investment you make in your self-control skills is one of the best you can make in your life.

So, now the question is, what are you going to do with your willpower?

How to Get Organized During Your Job Search: 6 Helpful Tips

Job hunting is no one’s favorite activity. Customizing your resume and cover letter for each position (not to mention typing the same information found in the resume you just attached into various application systems) can be grueling work. Job hunting is a full-time job, and you’re not getting paid a dime for it.

Getting organized can save you time and make the process less frustrating. Here are six ways to streamline your job search to make it not only easier on you, but potentially more successful.

1Make a list of keywords.

Quick! Can you name all of your job skills in under thirty seconds? If someone asked you what types of positions you’re qualified for, would you be able to rattle them off easily? If so, great—you know how to market yourself well. But if you’re like most job seekers, odds are good that you could benefit from some self-evaluation.

Before you begin your job search in earnest, sit down and make a list of your skills. When I was job hunting, my list included things like writing, editing, communication, and copywriting. Next, focus on the types of positions that might be right for you. Make a list of all the job titles you can think of that would be within the scope of your search.

Here’s a tip: Keep your list handy. (See below for how I used a spreadsheet.) You’ll need it as you’re browsing job sites. Add to it as you find new job titles and keywords that pop up during your search.That way, you’ll be broadening the scope of your search as you go.

2Find opportunities with job search alerts.

Now that you have an idea of what you’re looking for, you can start digging into job boards. Many will send you email alerts with new positions that match your skills. Here are a few to help you get rolling.

• Indeed
• SimplyHired
• LinkedIn Jobs
• Glassdoor
• Monster

Here’s a tip: While you shouldn’t put your eggs into one basket by focusing solely on one job search site, it makes sense to consolidate your efforts by narrowing your search to a few top sites that are likely to net you the best results.

3Spreadsheets are your friends.

When I was job hunting a few years ago, I found it impossible to keep track of the status of my applications. I wasn’t very spreadsheet savvy, so it never occurred to me to use a free spreadsheet tool like Google Sheets to track my job search efforts.

The good news is you don’t have to be a spreadsheet wizard to use Excel or Sheets. All it takes to create an efficient tracking system is the ability to name a few columns with appropriate headers and then fill in the blanks. (Trust me, it’s easy.) Here are the columns I would use in my search if I had it to do it over again:

• Company – The name of the company you’ve applied to.
• Position – The title of the position you’re interested in.
• Job Listing Link – It can be helpful to have a link to the original job listing so you can refer to it later.
• Application Date
• Contact – If you have a contact name, put it here.
• Email – Add your contact’s email address if you have it.
• Interview Date
• Follow-up – If you scored an interview, this is a good place to note how you followed up.
• Status – Do you have a second interview scheduled? Are you waiting for a response? Track your current status here.
• Comments – This is a good place to add any thoughts or insights you’ve gained as you were researching the company and position. Don’t rely on your memory when you have a lot of job search irons in the fire.

A spreadsheet would’ve saved me a ton of time in my job hunt by preventing me from having to search through various emails and links to remind myself of where I’d applied and what my status was.

Here’s a tip: Your spreadsheet can be a catch-all for things related to your job hunt. Create a new tab to store a list of job search site links (like the ones listed above) so you don’t have to hunt them down anew each day. Create another tab to store a list of job skills keywords and the titles of positions you’re qualified for. You never know when you’ll need to refer to them as you’re searching through open positions.

4Use a calendar.

If you’re anything like me (the ADHD is strong with this one), you’ve woken up in a cold sweat, your heart racing, thinking Is my job interview this morning? Did I oversleep? Do I have only ten minutes to get ready and race out the door? Oh em gee!

I never missed an interview. I was never late for one, either. But the fear that I might mess up was strong and evoked a near steady state of low-level anxiety. A calendar would have helped alleviate that.

These days, I use Google Calendar, but any calendar app can make the process of tracking upcoming interviews and things like networking events or job fairs much easier. Having a calendar takes the stress out of having to remember upcoming appointments and eliminates those heart-pounding morning wakeups.

5Make a schedule.

As I mentioned earlier, a job search can be like a full-time job in itself, except that it has no pay and no benefits. #SadFace

You can streamline your day by setting a schedule. This was something I did right when I was in the market for a new gig. I stepped into my office at 9 a.m. every weekday. First, I checked my email for any replies from hiring managers. Then, I looked at my new job alerts and checked job boards for any new listings. Next, I focused on putting in applications, which was a more time-consuming process because I was careful to customize each cover letter and tweak each resume.

Think of your job search as a job you’re reporting to each day. Not only will it help you stay committed and on track, it will bring some purpose to your downtime.

6Use templates.

Templates are a time-saver. Make customizable templates for your cover letters (and please do customize each one) and other inquiries and replies. You’ll thank yourself when you’re not writing every single email from scratch. Save templates in Google Docs or another word processing program so you can quickly access them.

Here’s a tip: Although they may not show up in your email client, other clients may see font changes and other oddities that are remnants of copying and pasting. To strip formatting from the text you paste, use Ctrl/Cmd + Shift + V to paste.

Taking a little time to get organized and plan your job search in advance will save you time and prevent irritation and stress. Go get ’em!