9 Skills You Need to Master Before You Become a Manager

There’s no doubt that being a manager has its perks — increased prestige, recognition from upper management, and a higher paycheck among them. But as with anything worth aspiring to, it’s not all fun and games. As a manager, there are plenty of times you’ll find yourself in tough spots. Maybe you need to let someone know they’re no longer a good fit for their role or smooth things over with an upset client.

Because of that, it’s important that you don’t simply jump into a management role without having prepared for it first. If you want to do it right, there are a number of skill sets that you should build up first. So before you throw your hat in the ring for a manager position, make sure that you’ve got these nine traits down pat.

1. An Understanding of Budget and Financials

Even if you don’t work in a particularly quantitative field, understanding budget and finance is critical if you want to climb up the corporate ladder. The higher you go, the more people expect you to prove the impact that you and your team are making.

“Managers must always know what the numbers mean: how they were derived and what they may or may not hide,” says Roy Cohen, career coach and author of The Wall Street Professional’s Survival Guide. “As a manager, you cannot blame others for mistakes if you are clueless about the process by which they are reported. It is viewed as lazy and irresponsible. Even if you overlook a flaw at least you can explain why the oversight occurred.”

Suffering from numbers-phobia? Don’t worry — you can easily brush up your skills if you take a course in accounting, budgeting, or spreadsheet analysis, Cohen says.

2. Delegation

Control freaks, you’ll want to pay especially close attention to this one. As a manager, you’re tasked with not only your own projects but also overseeing others. With that added level of responsibility, you often simply won’t have the time to single-handedly take on everything that needs to get done. And when that moment comes, you need to know how to hand it off.

“An important part of getting things done as a manager comes through delegation,” says career coach Angela Copeland. “You have to learn to let go and rely on your team. And, most of all, you’ve got to trust them. The happiest employees are those who feel they have a supportive boss who trusts them to get the job done.”

3. Prioritization

On a similar note, the limited bandwidth and resources you’ll have as a manager will also make identifying the most mission-critical projects and tasks essential.

“As a new manager, you will inevitably be asked to take on more than you and your team have the time or budget to do,” Copeland says. “The ability to prioritize initiatives will propel your management career forward. It will allow you to set reasonable expectations for your manager, and will help shield your employees from burnout.”

4. Basic Technology

If you don’t already know your way around a spreadsheet or PowerPoint, it’s high time that you start figuring it out.

“The ability to prepare spreadsheets, PowerPoint presentations and other documents is a lifesaver for executives who cannot always rely on administrative support; particularly for those who are road warriors or who work for leanly staffed companies,” Cohen says. “The same [goes] for a basic understanding of tech troubleshooting. When you are dependent on those who are junior to you to rescue you from a crisis, you lose your power and authority.”

5. Communication

Strong communication skills are always a boon in the workplace, but if you’re leading a team, they go from a plus to a must. You’ll likely find yourself having to provide constructive feedback, navigate crises, and possibly even let people go — all of which require a delicate hand.

“Hard conversations are important as they cause growth and change. But, change is also painful, so these conversations are not easy. To be an effective manager, you have to be prepared for the hard conversations,” Copeland says.

6. Emotional Intelligence

One of the traits that will help you hold these difficult conversations? Emotional intelligence.

“A huge part of developing and retaining successful employees boils down to emotional intelligence,” Copeland continues. “Having empathy and an understanding of others will help you to motivate your employees to get on board with your vision. This is also a critical skill when it comes to selling your ideas to higher level executives.”

7. Project Management

Being a manager means you can no longer shrug off the missteps of others on your team, brushing it off as not your fault since you took care of the individual items you were assigned. As a more senior employee, you’ll be expected to see things through from start to finish — no ifs, ands, or buts.

“Project management represents virtually every aspect of your role as a manager,” Cohen says. “No matter what your role and responsibilities as a manager [are], you will need to know how to motivate and inspire high performing teams to work together collaboratively and with a shared commitment.”

Don’t worry if you aren’t a certified professional project manager, though, says Cohen. “You just need to understand the process and to appreciate that members of your team each bring different work styles and motivators to their job. It may be enough to read a book on effective project management and leadership. Perhaps identify a senior mentor to help you stay on track,” he suggests.

8. In-the-Trenches Experience

However, just because you’re spearheading a project doesn’t mean you won’t be expected to get your hands dirty with day-to-day execution, either.

“Be willing to roll up your sleeves. When your team knows that you can perform in the job in a pinch, they are less likely to cut corners and you are better able to establish both your authority and credibility quickly,” Cohen says. “Work alongside them on occasion as a reminder that you know your stuff.”

9. Backbone

Being a manager often requires you to make tough decisions and stand up for what you believe in.

“Being a manager will push your boundaries of right and wrong. Before becoming a manager, you need to develop a strong sense of your personal values and the courage to stick up for them,” Copeland says. “You should be comfortable standing up for what’s right, even when it’s not comfortable. Your employer and future employees will thank you.”

It’s important to develop empathy, but still know “the difference between BS and the truth,” adds Cohen. “Good managers are fair and reasonable. But they are not milquetoast. They have learned how to be assertive while identifying and addressing their own weaknesses.”

A version of this post originally appeared on Glassdoor’s blog.

Fantastic Lists and How to Use Them

If you want to get more done, lists are potent tools that can make you a productivity wizard. Our grimoire will reveal the most fantastic lists and teach you how to wield their power.

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Goal Lists

Goal lists are for plotting your long game strategy. What do you want to accomplish in the next six months, year, five years? Odds are, you already have some things in mind. Put them in writing! Research shows that those with clear written goals achieve about 50% more of them than those without.

Goals can seem nebulous until we actually commit to them—the things we hope to do “someday” don’t happen unless we put a plan into action. First, look at the big picture. What do you want to achieve? Put it in writing. For instance, if you’ve been telling yourself that you want to write your memoir, write down that goal. Now, break that goal down into actionable steps. The first steps might be something like: “Prepare an outline” or “Write 500 words per day.” You can then add those action items to your . . .

To-Do Lists

As lists go, it doesn’t get any more classic than the time-honored to-do list. These lists focus on short-term (usually daily) goals. Unfortunately, we sometimes feel compelled to use them less like a productivity tool and more like a massive backlog. Backlogs are more likely to stress us out by putting the focus on everything that’s unfinished. Prioritizing is the key to creating to-do list that will help keep us sane rather than overwhelmed.

Experts suggest you keep your to-do lists simple and focused. Try to limit them to no more than three main items per day, and consider breaking those items down into smaller sub-tasks. (Save the big, overarching tasks for your goal list.) If you have a zillion things you want to accomplish and you feel the urge to write a massive list, go ahead and get it out of your system, but then dive back in and select the most important tasks to focus on right now, the ones that will help you make the most immediate progress toward your goal. Pro tip: Write your to-do list the at the end of the day so you can tackle it fresh in the morning.

Idea Lists

Have you ever found yourself thinking, I had a great idea for that project once . . . if I could only remember what it was! We all do it—inspiration can be fleeting. Keeping an idea list can help you log those ideas and shape the best of them into reality.

Technology makes keeping a record of your ideas much simpler. Most of us are within reach of our smartphones or other mobile devices at any given time, so make use of apps to help you capture those moments of inspiration. You could use a note-taking app to jot down your ideas, or try a cloud-based solution such as Evernote or Dropbox to keep things handy no matter what device you’re using. Refer to your idea lists when you’re running short on creativity or motivation.

Helpful Tools and Resources Lists

You’ve got a big writing project to wrap up. You swear you saw an ad somewhere for a useful writing app that could help you proofread. What was that thing called again? (Um . . . Grammarly, perhaps?) Your brain is bombarded with a ton of input every day. Don’t count on it to retrieve information you saw in passing—keep a list.

Perhaps not surprisingly, there are useful tools available to help you save lists of useful tools and online resources. Bookmarking apps like Pocket help you file things away to reference later. (Or you could kick it old school and just use your browser’s native bookmarking function.) When you come across a tool or resource you think you might have a use for, bookmark it and categorize it so you’ll be able to track it down quickly when you need it.

Book Reading Lists

Avid readers already know the benefits of losing themselves in a good book, but science bears it out—reading reduces stress. In fact, it can lower stress levels by 68%, which makes it superior to more traditional methods like listening to music or making a cup of tea. Since reading is so good for you, why not keep a list of books you’d like to explore?

Goodreads will help you create shelves where you can store your “Want to Read” finds, and it works cooperatively with Kindle and Nook if e-reading happens to be your thing. If you prefer a more streamlined system, you could create a spreadsheet and add the titles and authors of books you find intriguing. For a low-tech approach, keep a handwritten list. You could even write it on a sheet of paper, fold it in half, and use it as a bookmark so it’s handy when you’re ready for your next reading adventure.

Done Lists

We always seem to have tons of things we want to accomplish at any given time. People remember unfinished or interrupted tasks better than those they’ve completed. It’s great to have projects and goals, but they can become overwhelming when we focus solely on what we haven’t accomplished without looking back to acknowledge what we have. That’s where the ego-boosting done list comes in.

At the end of a busy week, sit down and make a list of some of your major accomplishments. You may not have finished everything you set out to do, but remembering what you did will help you keep a positive focus and stay motivated. You can use your weekly done lists to create a self-affirming month-end and year-end list, too. You’ve done stuff! Pat yourself on the back.

It’s vs. Its: How Should You Use Them?

When you’re in a hurry, you might write “it’s” when you really mean “its,” or the other way around. You need to be aware of this mistake and know when to use which.

It’s is a contraction of “it is” or “it has.” Its is a possessive determiner we use to say that something belongs to or refers to something.

It’s and its are among the most commonly confused words. They are pronounced the same, there’s a very small difference in how they’re written, and it’s also easy to mistake the contraction in it’s for a possessive. But the rules are very clear—it’s is the same type of contraction as “where’s” or “there’s,” and its is a possessive just like “my” or “your.”

Examples

He doesn’t think its a good idea to spend all his money on video games.

He doesn’t think it’s a good idea to spend all his money on video games.

Its been a year since the last time they met.

It’s been a year since the last time they met.

The computer looked as though it’s power supply had failed.

The computer looked as though its power supply had failed.

A car is no good without it’s wheels.

A car is no good without its wheels.

7 Smart Ways to Handle Negativity on Social Media

You’ve just poured your heart into your latest blog post. You got real! You got vulnerable!

…And now a total stranger is publicly ridiculing you.

Life on the Internet can be stressful. As you express your experiences and opinions, you are bound to run into the naysayers, the haters, and the outright trolls.

Dealing with these characters may not be fun, but they don’t have to ruin your day. Here are seven smart ways to handle negativity on social media and come out on top.

1Don’t Feed the Trolls

The simplest and most direct way to destroy trolls’ power? Ignore their hateful comments and refuse to engage with their negativity.

Trolls feed on attention. Your frustration and anger are their goal. When you indignantly reply to an ugly comment, you’re giving them exactly what they want.

Your anger at injustice and desire to prove your point will tempt you to argue with them, but remember: trolls aren’t interested in productive dialogue. They will twist your words, accuse you, and make non-factual statements—they will not concede.

It doesn’t matter how intelligently you present your point, the argument will only devolve further, resulting in a colossal waste of time and emotional energy. But when you deprive a troll of attention, they’ll soon slink away to sow discord somewhere else.

2Champion a Supportive Community

Say you’re reading a friend’s blog (or Facebook post or Twitter feed…) and you see that someone has left a nasty comment.

Instead of engaging directly with the troll (giving them the power and attention they want), respond with a positive comment for your friend. Let your friend know how much you enjoyed their post and that you appreciate her sharing it.

Your support will mean a lot to your friend and will encourage others to speak up, unleashing an avalanche of positive support to drown out the negativity.

Whenever possible, do your part to foster a supportive online community where people feel safe to have real dialogue, listen, ask questions, and express their points respectfully.

3Provide the Facts

Trolls frequently spout misinformation, propping up their arguments with factually inaccurate assertions. This can confuse other readers and make a troll’s argument sound credible to those who don’t know the truth.

If you see a troll making inaccurate statements, on your own social media post or someone else’s, share some primary sources that refute their arguments and back up the facts.

You are doing this to educate other readers, so don’t respond to the troll directly (shouting matches will ensue). Instead, leave a comment such as “Hey folks, there seems to be some confusion around [issue].” Then calmly state the facts and your sources.

4Respond With Humor or Kindness

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Trolls only have as much power as you allow them to have. You can disarm their attack by showing them just how little you take their hateful words seriously.

Respond to them with a witty retort or thank them for their comment.

Well, the fumes from the DVDs might be toxic and I’ve still got your money, so by all means borrow my lighter. pic.twitter.com/kVoi8VGEoK

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) January 31, 2017

Just remember, keep things clever and focus on deflecting their words—don’t sink to their level of ugliness or engage in personal attacks.

5Report Harassment

If someone is making you uncomfortable or even threatening you on social media, don’t hesitate to report them. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and other major sites all allow you to file complaints about abusive behavior. Many platforms also have a “block” or “ignore” feature you can use to stop receiving the bully’s harassment.

If you personally moderate an online community, such as a Facebook group or message board, consider creating a “rules of conduct” post. If someone behaves inappropriately, you’ll have a clear justification for booting them and defense against any claims that they’re being singled out.

6Repair the Relationship

Sometimes the people who argue with us on the Internet aren’t vicious strangers—they’re friends and family. If you and your uncle are duking it out on a Facebook thread, maybe take a moment to pause and consider how much you value the relationship.

If this is a person you don’t agree with, but you still want to have an amicable relationship with, consider sending them a private message or ask if they’re open to a phone call to work things out.

In the public theater of the Internet, it can be difficult to admit “I was wrong” or “You really hurt me.” Continuing the conversation via private channels can help facilitate a peaceful solution.

7Practice Self-Care

Dealing with negativity can be exhausting and discouraging, so remember to take care of yourself. If a rude comment really got to you, call a trusted friend to vent and get perspective.

Remember, no matter how “personal” a comment may seem—such as someone on Instagram criticizing your weight—those hateful words are coming from their insecurities and baggage. You don’t have to let their issues ruin your day.

Be secure in your value, focus on the positives, and let the negatives fade into the background.

14 Conversational Skills You Can Easily Learn and Apply at Work

Making Conversation at the Office

Making conversation at the office can be awkward. Stay all business and you risk coming across as a buttoned-up, stuffy person who doesn’t know how to cut loose. Too nice? You might find yourself taken for granted or even passed over for promotions. And if your conversations are too casual, you may find that you’re not taken seriously. How do you strike the perfect balance when making workday chat?

When it comes to office chatter, there are a few simple best practices you should observe.

1 Show interest in others. We naturally like people who are interested in us. Open conversations with a question, and then genuinely pay attention to the answer. A simple “How’s your day going?” goes a long way.

2 Respect your office culture. Casual banter and humor may not fly in a formal setting. Ditto for an overly serious attitude at a workplace that embraces a more casual tone. The office is one place where you want to fit in.

3 Keep your opinions about life outside the office to yourself. It’s cool if you let your co-workers know that you love your dog, or that you like to skydive on the weekends, but leave more charged topics like religion and politics alone.

4 Stay positive. Yes, bad things happen at work, but that doesn’t mean you have to have a negative mindset. Keep your tone positive by focusing on solutions instead of grumbling about problems.

5 Don’t gossip. Office gossip will almost always come back to haunt you. When someone shares private information with you, be sure to keep their confidence. And whatever you do, don’t badmouth management or your colleagues.

6 Listen and observe. Make it a rule to listen more often than you talk. The more insight you gain into your colleagues and the general vibe of your office environment, the more relevant and meaningful things you’ll have to say when it’s your turn to speak.

Chatting with Senior Colleagues

Conversing with office mates who share the same rung of the corporate ladder is one thing, but the dynamic changes when you’re talking to someone higher up. All of the tips we just provided are still in play (you weren’t really going to talk politics with your manager, were you?), but there are a few more you should observe to keep things professional.

7 To be interesting, be interested. Within reason. Dale Carnegie was right—the secret to being liked is to show an interest in others. But mind that you keep the topics professional. “How was your fishing trip?” is a great question. “Were you as drunk as you looked at the club this weekend?” . . . not so much.

8 Make conversation at the appropriate times. Chat with your senior colleagues when you know they’re not in a hurry, like when you’re both heading to grab a cup of coffee. Match the topic to the length of time at hand. Asking something like “How did you get into this field of work?” might be an appropriate conversation-starter at an office dinner function, but it’s not well-suited for a two-minute break at the water cooler.

9 Schedule time to discuss work-related topics. Have an idea for improving the quality of your social media analytics? Don’t present that during a thirty-second elevator ride. Instead, consider using email or other office channels to schedule a meeting. Otherwise, your ideas may get lost in the shuffle or, worse, you’ll come across as a pest.

10 Don’t kiss up. No one likes the colleague who’s doing everything short of jumping up and down, shouting “Look at me! Look at me!” to stay on the boss’s radar.

Communicating with Your Employees

Once more, the rules change a bit when you’re making conversation with someone you directly manage. Now you’re in a position where you need to command respect, and that applies even in casual settings. Here’s how.

11 Have a sense of humor. If it comes naturally, use humor to make yourself more approachable. Just keep it office-appropriate. Remember, you’re setting the tone for everyone else.

12 Bring others into your conversations. Even the most casual banter with a senior colleague can feel intimidating when it’s one-on-one. Consider inviting others into the mix to ease the tension and help everyone feel comfortable.

13 Don’t get too personal. Keep your chatty questions neutral. It’s fine to ask whether your employee had a nice time on vacation, but when you ask about their relationships with their significant others, you’re straying into personal territory. Would you feel comfortable answering if your employee asked you the same question?

14 Sincere compliments are always welcome. It’s helpful to praise individual performance-related wins that you might only mention cumulatively on a performance review. (“Good job on the presentation this morning! Your Powerpoint chops are becoming legendary.”) They can provide confidence boosts that increase morale.

Whatever your hierarchy in the office jungle, making conversation is a matter of applying a combination of empathy (chat like you’d like to be chatted to!), good observation skills, and a little common sense.

Irregular Plural Nouns—Learn Patterns to Help You Remember the Tricky Ones

Irregular plural nouns are nouns that do not become plural by adding -s or -es, as most nouns in the English language do. You’re probably familiar with many of these already. For example, the plural form of man is men, not mans. The plural form of woman is women, not womans. There are hundreds of irregular plural nouns, and in truth, you must memorize them through reading and speaking. There are, however, some common patterns to look out for.

The Most Common Irregular Plurals

Nouns ending in -f and -fe

To make a plural of a word ending in -f, change the f to a v and add es. Similarly, if a word ends in -fe, change the f to a v and add an s. The result for both types is a plural that ends in -ves. This spelling arose because of the difficulty of pronouncing f and s together in English (an attempt to do this will produce a v sound).

Singular (-f, -fe)	Plural (-ves)
knive	knives
life	lives
wife	wives
calf	calves
leaf	leaves

Exceptions: roofs and proofs (among others).

Nouns Ending in -o

Plurals of words ending in -o are usually made by adding -es.

Singular (-o)	Plural (-oes)
potato	potatoes
tomato	tomatoes
hero	heroes
torpedo	torpedoes
veto	vetoes

But of course, there are exceptions. (Aren’t there always?) Some words ending in -o that are borrowed from other languages take only an s to make a plural, such as pianos, cantos, photos, and zeros. Cello, which is an abbreviation of the Italian word violoncello, can be written the traditional way, celli, or the commonly accepted anglicized way, cellos.

Nouns That Change Vowels

Many English words become plural by changing their vowels, such as oo to ee or an to en.

Singular	Plural (vowel change)
foot	feet
tooth	teeth
goose	geese
man	men
woman	women

Fun fact: The eighteenth-century American dictionary reformer Noah Webster preferred spellings that were closer to their most common pronunciations. Thus, he advocated for the return of the Old English plural wimmen. Wouldn’t that have been convenient?

Irregular Nouns That Change Substantially

For a variety of historical reasons, some words change in spelling substantially when made plural.

Singular	Plural
louse	lice
mouse	mice
die	dice
ox	oxen
child	children
person	people*
penny	pence (in British usage)

Irregular Nouns That Do Not Change At All When Made Plural

Some English nouns are identical in both the singular and the plural forms. Many of these are names for animals.

Singular/ Plural (no change)

sheep

fish

deer

moose

swine

buffalo

shrimp

trout

I have seen several deer when walking in the woods near here.

How many shrimp did you catch?

Aircraft, watercraft, hovercraft, and spacecraft are all the same whether singular or plural.

NASA has made several different types of spacecraft in their fifty-nine-year history.

Plurals of Latin and Greek Words

There are certain words we use on a regular basis, especially in mathematical and scientific contexts, that are borrowed from Latin or Greek. Many of these words retain their Latin or Greek plurals in math and science settings. Some of them also have anglicized plural forms that have come into common use.

Nouns Ending in -us

To make a word ending in -us plural, change -us to -i. Many plurals of words ending in -us have anglicized versions, formed by simply adding -es. The latter method sounds more natural in informal settings. If there is an anglicized version that is well accepted, this will be noted in the dictionary entry for the word you are using.

Singular (-us)	Plural (-i)
focus	foci (also focuses)
radius	radii (also radiuses)
fungus	fungi
nucleus	nuclei
cactus	cacti
alumnus	alumni*
octopus	octopi (or octopuses)
hippopotamus	hippopotami (or hippopotamuses)

With the double i, radii (pronounced RAY-dee-i) sounds unwieldy, but if you are a mathematician, you probably use it every day. If you are a zoologist, you might say, “Hey, did you see those hippopotami?” but it would sound silly on a casual visit to the zoo. Many people resist the spelling octopuses, but it is perfectly acceptable. In fact, if you put a fine point on it, since octopus is of Greek origin rather than from Latin, theoretically the spelling should be octopodes, not octopi.

Irregular Formation of Nouns Ending in -is

Nouns with an -is ending can be made plural by changing -is to -es. Some people have a hard time remembering that the plural of crisis is crises and the plural of axis is axes, but crisises and axises are incorrect.

Singular (-is)	Plural (-es)
axis	axes (this is also the plural of ax and axe)
analysis	analyses
crisis	crises
thesis	theses

Irregular Formation of Nouns Ending in -on

These Greek words change their -on ending to -a.

Singular (-on)	Plural (-a)
phenomenon	phenomena
criterion	criteria

Irregular Formation of Nouns Ending in -um

Words ending in -um shed their -um and replace it with -a to form a plural. The plurals of some of these words are far better known than their singular counterparts.

Singular (-um)	Plural (-a)
datum	data
memorandum	memoranda
bacterium	bacteria
stratum	strata
curriculum	curricula (also curriculums)

Irregular Formation of Nouns Ending in -ix

Nouns ending in -ix are changed to -ices in formal settings, but sometimes -xes is perfectly acceptable.

Singular (-ix)	Plural (-ces, -xes)
index	indices (or indexes)
appendix	appendices (or appendixes, in a medical context)
vortex	vortices (or vortexes)

These rules for irregular plural nouns must simply be memorized, although it is helpful to understand the patterns first in order to master them. We also have information on the Grammarly blog about patterns for regular nouns.

Can You Wear Some Deodorant? and Other Awkward Cubicle Conversations

Imagine you’re hard at work on a report that’s due by the end of the day. It’s been a busy week so far, and you’ve got a long way to go, so you need to avoid distractions. Unfortunately, your eyes are watering and your nose is twitching because the guy in the next cube, the one who bikes ten miles to work every day, is . . . aromatic. And not in a pleasant way.

It’s time to either fill your cube to the brim with potpourri or confront Joe Cyclist. Although the latter is the more effective option, this is a sensitive topic you’re broaching. You’ll have to find a way to request odor relief that’s somewhere between a too-subtle “Hmm, what’s that smell?” and a too brutal “Dude, your stench is rank!”

When tackling delicate subjects, setting aside harsh criticism in favor of precise, tactful language can mean the difference between straining a workplace relationship and getting results. Our suggested dialogs for potentially awkward workplace scenarios should help keep your office environment more liveable, and your relationships with your colleagues more comfortable.

Situation #1: Smell me! I work out.

Your colleague is an active person. You get it. Everyone gets it, because being in his vicinity means coping with aromas reminiscent of the inside of your high school gym locker. You’ve tried dropping subtle hints, but they’re not working.

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What to say

First, make sure the conversation is private. You might also consider talking at the end of the day, so your colleague doesn’t have to spend hours feeling self-conscious. Assure the person that you like and respect him before tackling the odor issue.

“I think it’s awesome that you exercise every day before work. I admire how motivated you are to stay healthy.”

Don’t make accusations. Be kind but not condescending. Your colleague will likely feel embarrassed no matter what you say, but you can soften the impact by downplaying the severity and assuming they practice good hygiene. Admit the topic is awkward for you, too.

“I’m a little uncomfortable bringing this up, because I’m sure you shower every day, but sometimes I notice a strong odor after you’ve had a particularly strenuous workout. I just want to make you aware so you can decide on the best way to deal with it.”

Situation #2: The familial fundraiser

You cringe when you see one of them coming down the hall with a catalog and an order sheet in hand. These coworkers have kids in school, and every time you turn around they’re participating in one fundraiser or another. You don’t need any more wrapping paper, overpriced chocolates, cheese, sausage, or useless trinkets, thanks.

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What to say

You might start by empathizing with the seller’s plight. After all, your colleague probably isn’t any more thrilled about having to solicit than you are about being solicited.

“Wow, looks like it’s that time of year again! Schools and organizations sure pile on the fundraisers.”

Now that you’ve acknowledged that the fundraiser struggle is real, it’s best to get right to the no-thank-you. Don’t browse through the sales materials, don’t ask what little Susie is selling, just politely decline.

“I get swamped with these requests from colleagues, friends, and neighbors. I’ve bought my share of things I didn’t really need in the past, so this year I’ve decided I’m not going to buy from fundraisers anymore. Thanks for understanding.”

Some workplaces have policies against selling anything in the office. If you’re aware of such a policy, feel free to tactfully bring it up.

“I remember seeing an HR policy about fundraising in the office. Do you think you should look into that so you don’t accidentally stir up trouble?”

If you’d really like to do something nice, ask if there’s somewhere you can make a donation without buying anything you don’t need. (Odds are good your colleague won’t know and you’ll be off the hook either way.)

“I don’t really need anything, but I’d like to help out. Is there a way for me to make a cash donation instead of a purchase?”

Situation #3: What’s yours is mine

Your cubicle may be fairly open, and your stuff may be out in the world for all to see, but that doesn’t make it any less your stuff. Not only is it irritating when someone “borrows” your things, it can even make you less productive.

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What to say

You may want to shout “Paws off my stuff!” but there’s a more tactful (if less emotionally satisfying) way to handle this—just ask.

“Please don’t take things from my desk without asking. I’m counting on them being here, and it makes it harder for me to get things done when I have to track down my supplies.”

If your colleague brushes off your request or insists it’s no big deal, you may have to push a little harder.

“Just humor me on this. It really bothers me when my things go missing.”

Situation #4: The chatty one

Some people like to talk. A lot. And when they want to shoot the breeze with you throughout the workday, it can put a serious dent in your ability to get things done.

via GIPHY

What to say

You have a right to work time free from unnecessary interruptions, so ask for it directly. Just focus the conversation on your needs rather than your colleague’s behavior.

“I have a lot of trouble concentrating sometimes, and interruptions really take me out of the flow when I’m working. Could we save chit-chat for when we’re off the clock?”

When to consult HR

If your problem colleague is also your supervisor, or anyone higher up the hierarchy ladder than you, or if you don’t have a particularly close or amicable working relationship, it’s wise to let someone else do the talking. In fact, in any of these situations, if you don’t feel you can approach the conversation yourself in a way that will resolve conflict rather than create more, ask your boss or the human resources department for help.