Words to Use When You’re Upset at Work

If work conflicts stress you out, you may be tempted to express your frustration with a few expletives. According to CareerBuilder.com, more than 80% of workers believe that “the use of curse words brings the employee’s professionalism into question.” What might this mean for you? If you are the employee, you could damage your chances of a promotion and seem less than mature in the eyes of your coworkers. If you’re the boss, you are a brand ambassador. Clients who find your speech offensive may decide to take their business elsewhere. That said, what can you say if you feel your blood start to boil at work?

Dang! Dag Nabbit!

Dang and dag nabbit are euphemisms. A euphemism is a mild substitution for a strong or unpleasant term. For instance, dang is a politer version of the word damn. With a little research, you can probably find alternatives for your most scathing four-letter words. A note of caution: it’s possible that someone you know considers euphemisms for swear words just as bad as the original terms. Getting to know the people around you is the best way to determine what’s safe to say and what’s not.

That’s not how I see it. I don’t agree.

Many times, a disagreement is the root of office tension. Rather than call your colleagues’ opposing viewpoints you-know-whats-y, find a respectful way to let them know you don’t agree. If you say that you don’t see the situation in the same way, you can open up the lines of communication by explaining your viewpoint. You may find that a little clarification of the issue at hand does a world of good. If you want to end a discussion, you might try saying, “I don’t agree.” This simple phrase, said with a smile, is a lot more friendly than a barrage of insults, so it can help you to keep your work relationships healthy.

Billions of Blistering Barnacles!

One online game based on pirates addressed the issue of foul language by creating a filter. Gamers who activate the filter see less offensive, pirate-y versions of swear words that other players type. Don’t worry if your job has nothing to do with pirates. You can personalize your own lingo based on your profession. Are you a journalist? How about “great gobs of pustulous paparazzi ”? As an added bonus, if you come up with something really cool, your colleagues will view you as creative rather than crass.

You think so?

What do you do when someone at work says something particularly insipid? Ask them, “You think so?” Though it sounds innocuous, it’s a great way of gently expressing difference of opinion. The question, said with a mild tone of voice, isn’t likely to provoke a strong response. Either the person will view the question as rhetorical, or they will go on to explain why they have adopted a certain viewpoint. If they are particularly perceptive, perhaps they will ask what you think about the matter.

Au contraire.

Often, people apologize for swearing by saying “pardon my French.” However, if you say “au contraire,” there’s no need to ask for pardon! This French phrase means “on the contrary.” Of course, you could actually use the English equivalent, but you might lose some of the phrase’s humorous or dramatic effect. One language enthusiast explains the difference between the two expressions: “An earnest argument demands “on the contrary,” but an opposing point of view, not meant too seriously and delivered with a flap of the wrist or a raised eyebrow, justifies au contraire.”

The last thing I want to say is no.

Isn’t this statement true? After all, what you really want to say is $@!!% no. Holding your tongue and using this phrase will help you in two ways, according to a small business forum. First, you let your boss or coworker know that you want to help them accomplish their goals, but something beyond your control prevents you from doing what they ask. Second, you give the impression that you considered your decision carefully and you value their point of view.

One, Two, Three. . .

How can these numbers help you? If you say them silently, you can calm down and choose your words wisely. What if a situation is especially vexing? Numbers are infinite! Use as many as you need.

“ ”

Yes, that’s right. The quotes are empty. The old adage still holds true: if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Rather than saying something you might later regret, you can remain silent until your heart rate returns to normal. When your head is clear, you will be able to find just the right words to resolve the issue.

Undoubtedly, you will get upset from time to time. If it happens at work, don’t jeopardize your reputation of professionalism by using offensive speech. After you take a few deep breaths and calm down, you might find it easier to use these alternatives. Who knows? With these tips in practice, you may notice less conflict at work as you forge stronger, more respectful relationships with your workmates.

What Is a Generic Noun?

Generic nouns are nouns that refer to all members of a class or group. They are often used when making generalizations or talking about universal truths. Generic nouns can be singular or plural, and be used with or without articles.

Let’s take, for example, the very simple noun book. When writing a sentence, we might have a certain book in mind.

My book fell in a puddle when I got off the bus.

In this sentence, we’re clearly referring to a specific book, a fact that is particularly conspicuous because we have used the possessive pronoun my.

I don’t have a book to read at the moment.

While there isn’t a specific book referred to in this sentence, it is clear that the speaker wants to acquire just one book (at least for now) and has nothing to say that applies to all books. Therefore book is not a generic noun here, but simply a common noun.

A book is a window into a new world.

In this example, however, “a book” refers not to a single book, but to books in general. Therefore, book is a generic noun in this sentence.

It’s also possible to use a generic noun with the definite article, although this style is slightly old-fashioned.

The book is the most important human invention in all of history.

You can even make general nouns plural, in which case no definite or indefinite article is needed. We call this the zero article.

Books are windows into new worlds.

This principle of zero article + plural generic noun can be applied to any generic class of things.

Lions are majestic animals.

Do you think computers have revolutionized our society?

It is important to recognize whether a generic noun is used as a singular or plural, because it must agree with the verb that follows. Take the last sentence above, for example, and transform the plural generic noun computers into a singular generic noun.

Do you think the computer has revolutionized our society?

Since the noun computer is now singular (taking the definite article the) the verb following it is now “has” rather than “have.”

Which TV Boss Do You Work For?

There are many types of bosses, from serious, commanding types like Claire Underwood to fun, friendly types like Michael Scott. Find out which famous TV boss is your manager’s personality twin!

Did we get it right? Which TV boss do you work for? Share your stories in the comments.

Spelling Words With EI and IE: “I Before E Except After C” Rule

I Before E, Except After C

Have you ever memorized the chorus of a song? You may sing a few lines over and over, but you can’t remember what comes after the section you know. Many people recite the mnemonic “I before E, except after C.” They either don’t remember or never learned the rest of the rhyme. Here are two additional lines that reveal some exceptions to the spelling rule:

I before E, Except after C, unless it sounds like A, as in neighbor or weigh

There are many exceptions to this rule—maybe it’s better to think of it as a guideline—but it can be helpful with words like the ones below.

I before E

Would you like a piece of cake? Jerry will believe anything. They’re planting new grass on the football field.

Except before C

Darnell received an A on his spelling test. Jeremy spotted a spider on the ceiling. I never expected such deceit from you!

Unless it sounds like A

Our neighbors live in a beige house. How much does the kitten weigh?

Here’s a tip: It’s a good idea to memorize these common exceptions to the rule:

seize, either, weird, height, foreign, leisure, conscience, counterfeit, forfeit, neither, science, species, sufficient

How Sally Ride Launched Her Career as the First American Woman in Space

I would like to be remembered as someone who was not afraid to do what she wanted to do, and as someone who took risks along the way in order to achieve her goals.

Did you know May 26 is Sally Ride day?

Sally Ride was an astronaut, physicist, and science educator—and she shattered one of the highest glass ceilings to become the first American woman in space.

Throughout her life she inspired millions and defied gender stereotypes at every turn.

Freedom to Explore

Sally was born in Los Angeles in 1951 and grew up loving science and sports. Her parents encouraged her and her sister to explore, be curious, and pursue their interests even if they were outside the norm. According to Sally’s mom:

[Her father] and I simply forgot to tell them that there were things they couldn’t do. But I think if it had occurred to us to tell them, we would have refrained.

In high school and college, Sally pursued her love of tennis and became a serious player, competing in tournaments at the national level. Tennis legend Billie Jean King encouraged her to drop out of college and pursue a professional career—advice she fortunately did not take.

She stuck with science, in part because of her experience attending an all-girls high school:

It was probably very important to my future. I didn’t have a lot of confidence in myself. I did well in math in high school, but I didn’t know if I would be able to do well at math in college. At Westlake, it was all girls in the trigonometry, calculus and chemistry classes. That environment gave me the confidence and motivation to declare a physics major in college.

Sally double-majored in physics and English at Stanford, and was a few months away from completing her PhD in physics when she saw an ad in the student newspaper—NASA was looking for astronauts. The moment she saw it, she knew that’s what she wanted to do. Sally ripped the ad from the newspaper and applied that afternoon.

Here’s a tip: Sally’s parents and peers encouraged her to pursue her dreams, regardless of cultural norms. But many of us haven’t had that same encouragement. Maybe you grew up with society or even friends and family telling you there are things you can’t do because of who you are.

Take a moment to consider: Are there negative messages or limitations you’ve internalized? Are there interests, projects, or careers you wish you could pursue but feel are off-limits?

Living Fearlessly

Sally applied to NASA’s astronaut program—along with 8,000 other applicants—and was one of thirty-five selected. For the first time in history, NASA had opened its program to women, and Sally was one of the first six women to join.

In 1978 she began her astronaut training at the Johnson Space Center in Houston and quickly fell in love with flying. She worked as a communications officer for mission control for the Columbia STS-2 and STS-3 shuttle flights, and she put her skills as a scientist to work developing a robotic arm for the shuttle to deploy and receive satellites.

Finally, in 1983 she got her chance to fly. She was selected for the crew of the Challenger STS-7 mission and was about to become the first American woman in space.

Sally’s sole focus and passion was on doing her job—she never set out to make history—but her inclusion in the Challenger crew set off a media frenzy. While she experienced the respect and acceptance of her male colleagues at NASA, the media took it upon themselves to bombard her with sexist questions during every interview.

Her NASA training prepared her for space flight—not the pressure of international celebrity. Fortunately a key character quality of astronauts is composure. Sally handled the spotlight with grace and remained unrattled despite the media circus.

The Challenger STS-7 mission was a success, and millions of women and girls around the world were inspired by Sally’s historic achievement.

Here’s a tip: When Sally saw the recruitment ad she didn’t disqualify herself—she just went for it. And she went on to become the first American woman in space. One of the hallmarks of her life was that she lived fearlessly, refusing to let anything hold her back from pursuing her dreams.

Take a moment to consider: Are there ways that you’re holding yourself back, out of fear? Are there dreams that you’re disqualifying yourself from? Writing a book, starting a business, making a career change?

Sometimes when our dreams feel big or unattainable, we psych ourselves out of even trying. What might be possible in your life if you chose to take action despite fear?

Entitled vs. Titled

You can say that a book is entitled “so and so,” but to say that it’s titled might be a more elegant and middle-of-the-road solution.

It doesn’t take a large leap of imagination to see how this blog might be read by someone who is working on his or her first book. To those of you who are working on novels, we wish the best of luck, offer some advice, and present you with a conundrum—will you title your book, or will you entitle it? Because, depending on who you ask, you might be able to do either, or you might just be able to title it. This warrants a deeper look.

Title the Verb and How to Use It

Title can be a noun and a verb. For the purposes of the entitled vs. titled debate, the verb is more interesting to us. To title something means to give it a name:

Nurturing another great love, last month Odom released his self-titled debut album of jazz and Broadway classics on S-Curve Records. —Forbes

The bestselling writer, who resigned from his New Yorker gig and lost his whiz-kid reputation in 2012 when the public learned that his book “Imagine” included made-up quotes attributed to Bob Dylan, is out with a new work titled “A Book About Love.” —The Washington Post

Titled can also be an adjective that describes people who have high social status or rank:

The community leaders and titled chiefs from different towns in the state backed Ogah at a meeting at Ogah’s Campaign Office in Umuahia. —Punch

Entitle and How to Use It

But it’s not the verb title that people find strange when talking about naming books or papers or works of art. Entitle is the verb that some deem objectionable for use in the context of giving names, even though this is one of the meanings the verb can have:

The book, entitled Stand Up China 2017 – China’s Hope: What I Learned During Five Years as a Political Prisoner, was published this week in Taiwan. —The Guardian

The book entitled ZIKA: The Emerging Epidemic is set to be published on July 6, 2016, just a month before the August Rio de Janeiro Summer Olympics. —Science World Report

The thing about entitle that rubs some people the wrong way is the other meaning the verb might have—“to give the right”:

A Fair Work Ombudsman spokeswoman said the national minimum wage would have entitled him to $16.87 per hour, equating to about $641 per 38-hour week. —Herald Sun

Hamilton was ahead on a line that entitled him to turn in, the stewards concluded. —The Guardian

This is the main definition of entitled when it’s used as an adjective. When we call people entitled, we are saying that they believe they have a right or privilege they don’t actually have:

You may have seen it, or felt it—that phenomenon that seems to have taken over kids in recent years and turned them into entitled, me-centric beings? —Today

Clearly, the reputation of entitle as a verb that means “to give a name” is damaged by the other meaning of entitle—“to give a right.” And the adjective entitled isn’t helping either. So, while you technically are entitled to use the verb entitle in both its senses, a case can be made that title would be a better choice for the sense the two verbs share.

Despite vs. In Spite Of

What’s the difference between despite and in spite of?

The easy answer: none. Despite and in spite of, despite what you may have heard, work identically in a sentence.

In other words, these two prepositions, in spite of what you may have heard, are basically identical.

In most cases, both mean “notwithstanding,” “even though,” or “regardless of.”

Despite their similarities, keep these things in mind to make sure your usage gives no cause for complaint.

Where they go in a sentence

Both despite and in spite of are prepositions that show contrast. They can show up at the start of a sentence or in the middle, but you’ll often need an extra clause to show the flip side. For example:

In spite of this dependent clause, this sentence needs an independent clause (this one!) to be a full sentence.

As you may have guessed, the same would be true if we replaced the “in spite of” in that sentence with “despite.” What matters is that the independent clause—the one that could stand alone as a sentence—is there to balance out the dependent clause that starts with “in spite of.”

What comes after them

Not just any part of speech can be used with these two little prepositions. For the most part, you’ve got three options for what can follow your spite-related phrases.

A noun

For the next two hours the new boy’s behavior was exemplary, despite the spitballs, shot from the nib of a pen, that occasionally splattered against his face. —Gustave Flaubert, Madame Bovary

Grammatically savvy, and classy, too.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself! —Clement Clarke Moore, The Night Before Christmas

This take on Santa Claus (not be confused with an independent clause) demonstrates the common construction, “in spite of oneself.” This speaker means he laughed without meaning to. Sorry, Santa!

This is also an important exception: “in spite of oneself” is a fixed idiom: you wouldn’t say “despite oneself.”

A gerund

A gerund is a verb masquerading as a noun. Here’s how it looks with our words of the day.

‘Now, above all, he must be convinced that he is on an equal footing with all of us, in spite of his taking money from us,’ Alyosha continued in his rapture. —Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

“Taking” works as a noun here—same as the nouns in the examples above. That -ing is what sets it apart.

Despite ‘throwing rocks,’ Mike knew, we all knew, that mighty Terra with eleven billion people and endless resources could not be defeated by three million who had nothing… —Robert Heinlein, The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress

Phrases with what or how

When not used to start a question, what, how, and their other wh- friends function as relative pronouns when they connect phrases in a sentence, or as adverbs when they modify a verb. Here are a few now.

The shower head. It worked fine despite how it looks. —TripAdvisor comment

“The shower head” is a fragment. But at least it works (grammatically and water-wise).

In spite of what happened to it, the pounding rain and hurricane-force winds, the barn still stands intact. —Peter H. Hare and Edward H. Madden, Causing, Perceiving and Believing: An Examination of the Philosophoy of C.J. Ducasse

Where they come from

“Spite” is a noun defined as “ill will or hatred toward another, accompanied with the disposition to irritate, annoy, or thwart.” That’s a fancy way to say “holding a grudge.” “Spite” is also a verb, which means “to purposely hurt or annoy.” For example:

Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.

In other words, don’t look for revenge out of spite if you may end up harming yourself in the process.

Contemporary usage of despite and in spite of isn’t quite so, well, spiteful. But in some cases you can still pick up a hint of contempt in the “spite” part of these prepositions:

Cory ate all of the cookies in spite of his mom’s warnings.

In Cory’s case, “in spite of” means “regardless of,” but Cory may also hold a grudge against his mom for trying to curtail his cookie-eating.

Despite the many examples, now you’ve got a solid grasp of how these words work. Just don’t use them in spite, in spite of where they come from.